Not someone who sits around in her jammies with a cup of coffee.
This year has been a huge year for me as far as my business goes. It has been epic. No matter what I do in the years to come, I know that this year has been, and will always be, the most important. It will be the one that I look back on and know that this has been the year where it all started to come together. When I came into my own. I have learned a lot and I will try to share with you the important bits. Now, I know my business outlook isn't the norm, I'm cautious, and I'm slow, and I take my time. Stability and security are two of the most important things to me. My business reflects me and that's okay. To each their own, right?
Emulation is alright, but authenticity is even better.
When I was starting out I really didn't have a clear idea of who I wanted to be, I just knew who I wanted to be like. They inspired me to do what they did so I tried to be like them as best I could. In doing that, I discovered my own style. I discovered what it was that I liked to do and how I liked to do it, even though they did it differently. It allowed me to learn some really important lessons. I can only ever be me and they can only ever be them. Try as I might to be just like them, it won't ever happen, so all that is left is to be the best me that I can be. I'm glad I discovered my authenticity.
Investing in myself and in my work is something that I needed to do... eventually.
Starting out I wanted to do everything on the cheap. I didn't want to invest in myself because what if I *gasp* failed. Wasted money, down the drain, kaput. You know what? That was a good fear for me to have. It was a healthy fear and a realistic fear. I had nothing to lose in the beginning and that let me have comfort and security, something that I need as the Dominee that I am. Starting out I used blogger to blog (still do!), weebly for the website (first the free version and now the paid), and all of my products came from the program gimp (free), and openoffice (also free). I made my layout myself, I did everything myself. Damn good learning experience, I'll tell you that!
This last year I did Leonie's Business Course, I paid for a domain name, I bought photoshop and Microsoft Works, I've bought e-books on blogging and business, I've paid for ads, and invested in the things that I need including subscriptions to e-junkie and mailchimp (and guess what? I'm getting an awesome new camera soon! VIDEOS ARE COMING).
Starting out with nothing and still being able to move forward and make something out of myself showed me that I was worth investing in!
I need my day job.
This year there was a huge focus in my online tribe on that big step of quitting the day job. I read blogs and articles that to really believe in yourself and your dream you had to give it your whole focus. That quitting your job would be this huge miracle for you, and you would succeed if you wanted it bad enough. For awhile I got caught in that dream. I wanted to quit my day job so bad. I began to resent going to work, and I was miserable. I kept being taunted with the thought to do it. Do it do it do it. And then I ran into reality.
I don't make enough right now to survive on my own. I don't have a spouse or family members to fall back on if I fail. I felt like a failure for thinking in terms of failure. I'm a positive-thinker, and a manifester, and a make-shit-happener. Shouldn't I cross my fingers, hope for a positive outcome, and then leap-of-faith?
No.
That's not for me. I realized that my business would suffer and so would my personality. Blessing Manifesting would cease to be about what is fun and what feels good. It would become 'What do I have to create to pay my rent this month?'. My bottom line would change and I don't want that. At least not now. When I get burnt out and don't want to write or hang out on social media, or blog, for days or a week at a time, nothing bad happens. In fact, nothing but good happens because I get to rest and replenish and be better when I return. Always stressing out about making ends meet would rob me of that (and ohhhh would there be some stressin'!)
Maybe quitting my day job would push me to do more, and be more, but right now, I'm happy just being me.
My business thrives on two things: Passion and Rest.
They're a bit opposite, I know, but they are so connected for me. Earlier this year I had a week of vacation from the day job. I decided that I was going to write enough blog posts for a month and then re-do this and re-do that and have the most EPIC vacation-not-vacation vacation EVER. I wrote and wrote and wrote and then I got tired of writing. Still I pushed myself and kept pushing until the very thought of writing made me roll my eyes in annoyance. I kept pushing though it (because I had a plan ya know) and by the end of the week I literally wanted nothing to do with my website, so I abandoned it for a few weeks and was in a horrible mood the whole time. That happened a few more times this year and then I learned the big secret:
Rest allows me to love what I do.
If I had to work on Blessing Manifesting every minute of every day, I would not love it. I learned that when I get that first inkling of tiredness, I need to shut down, take a break, instead of push through it. For me, the pushing is the damaging part. Rest + Blessing Manifesting = best life ever.
I'm not good at socializing or networking so I stopped trying to be perfect at it.
I have a habit of being an anti-social hermit (OMG the secret is out!). All the biz articles I read starting out said I had to be social, I had to *gulp* talk to people. I made tons of friends and connections online. I e-mailed, I guest posted, I commented on other's blogs, I started conversations on facebook and twitter, I turned in to a social butterfly. Then I got burnt out really quickly. I lovelovelove all of the wonderful people I met and got to talk to, especially the friendships that were formed, but it felt really overwhelming to me to keep up with it all. I remember one day I just started crying because there were so many people that I had to respond to, and I felt so appreciative that they wanted to talk to me, but it was so overwhelming. I wanted to retreat so badly.
That was my hint (and I listened) that I need to step back a little and dip into conversation when I really feel called to. It's hard admitting that being uber social is something that I'm not good at but creating boundaries in that aspect of my business helps me excel in other ways.
And I'm totally okay with that.
You all know that I love you, even if sometimes I go all feral cat and hiss and run away when you try to talk to me... right... right? I kid, I kid. Bazinga. But really, you guys are my peoples and I heart ya. So that's what I've learned business-wise this year. I think there might be more, so if you see a Part 2 pop up at some point, don't be surprised!
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