Blessing Manifesting

  • Subscribe to our RSS feed.
  • Twitter
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • Facebook
  • Digg

Friday, 18 January 2013

I hate my name.

Posted on 04:00 by Unknown
I have never been very fond of my name for a variety of reasons. It's always felt like this baggage that I have to carry with me and can't let go of.

It's reminiscent of the baggage that I carried with me when I hated my body. It's very similar. We sometimes define ourselves by how we look and we also define ourselves by what we are called.

I hate my name because I feel like it has always been something that separates me from everyone else.


It has caused a lot of resentment towards my mother, if you can believe such a thing. Sit back and I will tell you the story of why.

I was my mother's first child. My mother, who is white, was dating my father, who was black when I was conceived (This ends the part my bio-dad plays in this story). By the time I was born, she had broken up with him and had already married someone else, who was also white.

I was named Dominee Rochelle Malina Wyrick.


I was raised as his child, along with my sister and brother who came after me.

The rumor is that my father didn't even realize that I wasn't his biological child until I was older. I don't know how true that is because it's not a topic that I ever bring up with my family. I was told that I was not his biological daughter when I was around the age of seven, my mom said I cried a lot that day.

It was when I began to feel like the Other.


My whole entire family was white and I was not. I often felt like I didn't belong. I remember telling other children on the playground that I had spent too much time in the sun and that was why I wasn't white like my sister. I don't know why, but it always felt like something I should be ashamed about. I would never look the same and I felt like my last name was a lie, a name that did not really belong to me.

My sister was named Rachel Ellen after our Grandmother and Great Grandmother and my brother was named James Preston, after his father and Grandfather. I was named weird ol' Dominee, a name that had no ties to my history or heritage. A name that didn't fit in with the simplistic traditional names of my siblings. Mine was a name that everyone always got wrong, and after awhile it just seemed to reflect everything about me. My name was wrong, my skin color was wrong, my hair texture was wrong, and all I ever wanted was to fit in.

My name was a personification of the things that held me apart from everyone else.


Once I got online I never used my real name. I went by my middle name, Malina. I went by Talya, one of my favorite book characters, Ephiny (from Xena), MuddledClarity, anything but my own name.

That is until I joined the Goddess Circle and made this blog. I decided that I didn't want to hide behind a name that wasn't me. I didn't want to be anyone other than who I am, right down to my funky name, my stretch marks, and depression. I didn't want to hide anymore.

I also learned what my name meant.

dominee (in South Africa) a clergyman; especially a settled minister or parson. A spiritual leader of the Christian Church.


The name Dominee may not be particularly beautiful to me, but it does have power. It represents me and who I have become. I have made it my own and I have allowed it to represent me. In doing that I have changed what it means to me. 

It no longer represents to me that I don't fit in. It no longer means that I am not part of anything. My name has become part of this huge online family with people from all around the world, and my name fits in to that family perfectly. We're all odd and strange in our own ways, we're different colors, we speak different languages, we live in different places, yet we are all connected. 

Names cease to matter and all that does is our soul and our heart.

What's in a name? that which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet;

I don't think that I would be the same person if I had a different name. However, finding love for myself has allowed me to love my name, and to love my body, and to love those things about myself that were different or unwanted or strange.

That is what my name has taught me.

How do you feel about your name?  Like it? Love it? Hate it? What does it mean to you?


Email ThisBlogThis!Share to XShare to FacebookShare to Pinterest
Posted in About Me, Sacred Journey | No comments
Newer Post Older Post Home

0 comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Popular Posts

  • Iris of the Rainbows
    I'm going to be very busy for the next few weeks so my posts are going to be a little shorter for it. It's all about sacred balance!...
  • Magic Manifesting: Goddess Hestia
    Can you feel Spring in the air? Are you getting ready for Spring Cleaning? I am, and today we are going to talk about the PERFECT Goddess to...
  • Love Note of Forgiveness
    I love sharing notes of love with you and with everyone else as well! Please pay it forward and send this to those that you feel need to hea...
  • The Voice of Truth + Free Worksheet
    Today I am sharing with you a worksheet that will help you to tap into your inner truth. So often we pull ourselves down with negative think...
  • Nail Polish Magic
    Today's post is a little bit different. It's fun and simple and a great way to add some good mojo to your day. You see, I'm all ...
  • Goddess Wisdom: Amphitrite's Story
    I've been feeling really drawn lately to my oracle cards, especially the  Ancient Feminine Wisdom of Goddesses and Heroines  deck. I tho...
  • Are you cared for, nurtured, and cherished?
    How's your New Year going so far? Whether you've made it a time for new beginnings or it's the same ol' same ol' I hope ...
  • Treasure your sweet memories...
    This week's Oracle Card Reading comes to you from the Oracle of Shadows and Light by Lucy Cavendish and Jasmine Becket-Griffith and it h...
  • You Have Permission to Slow Down
    How are you feeling? I mean really? In your bones, in your head, in that (hopefully) happy heart of yours? Deep breaths and think about it. ...
  • Wishcasting Wednesday: Immersion
    Wishcasting Wednesday! Yay! Today's question is What do you wish to immerse yourself in?   I thought about this one for all of 30 second...

Categories

  • About Me
  • Best of Blessing Manifesting
  • Extraordinary Ordinary Life
  • Filling Up My Cup
  • Love Notes
  • Oracle Card Wisdom
  • Resources + Free Stuff
  • Sacred Feminine
  • Sacred Journey
  • Self Love and Self Care
  • Spirituality and Magic
  • weekly cute
  • Wisdom
  • Wishcasting Wednesday

Blog Archive

  • ▼  2013 (151)
    • ►  December (9)
    • ►  November (11)
    • ►  October (4)
    • ►  September (15)
    • ►  August (23)
    • ►  July (10)
    • ►  June (15)
    • ►  May (12)
    • ►  April (11)
    • ►  March (13)
    • ►  February (11)
    • ▼  January (17)
      • Great Mother Dwells Within You
      • How I Talk To Goddess
      • Shine Sun on the Winter Blues
      • Don't Let Fear Hold You Back
      • I've got diamonds at the meeting of my thighs
      • Pray For Faith
      • Treat. Yo. Self.
      • I hate my name.
      • Discovering my path...
      • How To: Self Love
      • Wanna help me out?
      • Are you cared for, nurtured, and cherished?
      • The Goddess Artemis
      • Are you detoxing?
      • My Word of the Year
      • Are you feeling it too?
      • Embracing the Goddess in 2013
  • ►  2012 (237)
    • ►  December (18)
    • ►  November (13)
    • ►  October (16)
    • ►  September (18)
    • ►  August (17)
    • ►  July (20)
    • ►  June (22)
    • ►  May (26)
    • ►  April (23)
    • ►  March (27)
    • ►  February (19)
    • ►  January (18)
  • ►  2011 (79)
    • ►  December (8)
    • ►  November (22)
    • ►  October (15)
    • ►  September (9)
    • ►  August (11)
    • ►  July (7)
    • ►  June (2)
    • ►  May (1)
    • ►  April (2)
    • ►  March (2)
Powered by Blogger.

About Me

Unknown
View my complete profile