Wishcasting Wednesday: I Say No To...

Today's prompt at Jamie Ridler Studios is What Do You Wish To Say No To? I wish to say no to giving into self-pity. The last week has been full of ups and downs and sometimes I find myself drowning in the downs. Logically I tell myself that this too shall pass. What a wonderful phrase. It gives us hope for the future, but what about right here, right now?


I know a lot of what I'm feeling is hormones. I used to hate getting my period and all of the emotions that came with it. Over the last few months I have tried to embrace those emotions. Just because they are brought on by that lovely rush of tears and the need for chocolate, does not mean that they should be ignored or that they aren't relevant. I see those emotions as primal and uninhibited by the restraints that I put on myself.


Guess what?


Despite that attitude I still feel like crawling into bed and wallowing in my self pity. Everything sucks, nothing is going right, there's so much effort involved in being happy today... it goes on and on right? So deeeeeep breath. How to get over this funk? First off I cleared off the coffee table where my computer monitor sits and I spend a nice chunk of my time, and got it all neat and clutter free . Then I lit a lavender candle and some incense and sat down with a cup of Tazo's 'Zen' tea. Another deep breath. And then I start counting my blessings. I wish to say "No!" to wallowing in self pity. I have so many blessings in my life (including you!). I can accept, and deal with the bad, while still acknowledging the good. This stops me from sinking, from drowning. The good in my life is wrapped around me like a comforting hug.


This too shall pass.

(hey darling, if you're feeling called to, please like me on facebook over on the right side there. LOOOOVE!)

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Vulnerability

 All rights reserved by Zsoldos Szabolcs 

vul·ner·a·ble [vuhl-ner-uh-buhl]
adjective

1. capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon: a vulnerable part of the body.

2. open to moral attack, criticism, temptation.

This blog has been floating around in my head all night. I have been feeling vulnerable lately. There are so many things coming together and with that, old wounds have been ripped open and are now truly healing. I have dealt with a lot in the last few months and I feel like I've been very strong throughout my challenges. Which is funny as I've never thought of myself as a strong person. Fragile, delicate, easily broken -- those are things I could identify with. However, the last few months I have been so strong for myself, I became someone I could rely on to make myself feel better. What an amazing gift that is.

Today I don't feel very strong.

I feel raw, and cracked wide open, and it's a scary feeling. Vulnerability has something to teach me. It has something to teach all of us. It makes us feel awkward and it pushes us out of our comfort zone, but it is there for a reason. It is there to be felt and experienced. I am currently trying to sit with this feeling and figure out why I am feeling it. I could get upset, I could ignore it, but instead I am studying it.

What has vulnerability taught me today?

It has taught me how far I've come, how much stronger I am. It's shown me that I'm struggling right here in this moment.

And that's okay.

It's telling me that I care. That I have a big, open, amazing heart. In the past I was so afraid to tell people that I loved them. I was too afraid to show emotion and vulnerability. I realize that I have changed in that way and it's made me stronger even when it makes me feel tender and naked. Now I can say love, and feel love easily. Instead of being so controlling about how I feel about others and how they feel about me I am open and I allow it to just flow. That is vulnerability isn't it? Yet at the same time, I credit it as a way I have been strong.

Vulnerability leads to strength. It is strength. It does not equal weakness, it does not mean that we aren't strong at the same time. We are made to feel and we are made to be broken open every once and awhile.

And it's okay.

I am pushing myself to greatness. I am putting my feelings and experiences out for the world to read. I wouldn't be who I am if that didn't make me feel exposed. I am being brave and vulnerable. I am being honest with the people in my life and I no longer have anything to hide behind. I am realizing who I am and who I am meant to be and that woman is naked and vulnerable and doesn't quite know where she fits in yet. She doesn't know what changes are coming, what this transformation will mean. It's scary.

Of course I am sitting here in tears. My world is turning upside down.

I know it's good. I know it's for the best and I see so many blessings and joys just up ahead, but right here, right now I am afraid. I take a deep breath and see this as what it is, growing pains. We get them no matter what age we are.

Today happens to be a new moon, a time for new beginnings and I am taking it as a sign that this is a new beginning for me. It is okay to feel how I feel right now. Better things will come along. The wind will stop whipping at my branches and ripping at my leaves. In the end I'll still be standing. Still strong. Everything is going to be all right.

"I understand now that the vulnerability I've always felt is the greatest strength a person can have. You can't experience life without feeling life. What I've learned is that being vulnerable to somebody you love is not a weakness, it's a strength." -- Elisabeth Shue

Be brave. Be strong. Be vulnerable.

 

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Things I love! Paints! Mindbloom! And Smelly Things!

 All rights reserved by Jude1007

Happy Friday dearhearts. I was sitting here running through a list in my head of all I wanted to blog about and I just couldn't decide. I've had a really great day. It started off full of vulnerability and ended up being transformational. Sometimes I am afraid to share what is in my heart, what I need, what makes me happy. Today I (re)learned that it is okay to speak truth. It is okay to want to be heard. It is okay to take chances and it is okay to love. 

Speaking of love, I wanted to share with you all of the things that I am loving right now in this very moment so that you might love them too. Maybe I'll inspire you to like something new. First on my list is painting! It's so much fun and even if you don't have an artistic bone in your body you can make something pretty. Even if it's only a wonderful whirlpool-glob-splatter of your favorite colors. Lately, I've been painting with watercolors and I absolutely love the way they look on the page. The inconsistency of the colors, the pale bits and the brightly colored bits. It makes my heart happy.

Mindbloom - Mindbloom is a game that you play that helps you keep track of goals in your life. You start off with a tree and you pick three branches to add to your tree. You can chose branches called Creativity, Relationships, Finances, Health, Career, Leisure, Lifestyle and Spirituality. Within those branches you can pick actions you want to complete daily or weekly. It's a fun reminder to get things done and actually got me to take my multivitamin for two weeks in a row without forgetting, which is quite a feat.

Free Happiness eCourse - I found this eCourse about 8 months ago during a very dark time in my life and I credit it with helping me move past the negativity. It helped start me on the path that I am on now. It's great advice, straight and to the point, and best of all, completely free. 

Choosing Happiness by Goddess Leonie - This is one of my favorite videos by Goddess Leonie and since I'm on a role with the 'happiness' theme I figured I'd share. There is always the option to be happy. Goddess Advice: How you talk about your day has an impact on how your day will go.

Baba Hanuman by Krishna Das - I love this song on so many levels. It reverberates in my soul in the most beautiful way. I feel the music in my body, in my heart, in my soul. Worth a listen and great for blissing out!

Aardvark Essentials - Aardvark Essentials sells these wonderful lotions (and I'm really not being paid to say this!) that I completely adore. Usually if it's not lavender or chamomile scented I'm not all that interested but I bought the Losing It potion and I just love the scent and I wear it everyday. It is very calming and soothing and I can't recommend it enough. I got the 1oz size and it has lasted for months now, a little goes a long way! I am also obsessed with nice smelling things. You will soon learn this about me. Hrrmm, I think I need a smell-o-vision projector. 

So my loves, what things do you love and what's making you happy right now? Feel free to share!

Have a fantastic Friday,

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Wishcasting Wednesday: What I Wish to Enjoy

This week's prompt at Wishcasting Wednesday is "What Do You Wish To Enjoy?". I giggled as I read it because there are so many things that I wish to enjoy, especially lately. I don't think I could count all of my blessings if I used all my fingers and my toes. (What about you? How many blessings are in your life right now?) Lately, I have my bad days when I'm grumpy and it's hard to see all of the beautiful things in life and that's okay. I think it's really hard to appreciate the good days if you don't have a few bad ones.


So what do I wish to enjoy? I wish to enjoy being in the moment. I've noticed that lately I tend to not always be "present". My mind is so much in the future (Which isn't necessarily a bad thing) but sometimes I get so caught up in it that I forget to take a deep breath and show appreciation for what I have right now. The future hasn't happened yet and while I can work to make sure it's a good future, forgetting to live in the now is kind of counterproductive, don't ya think? 


Right now, in this moment I am ridiculously relaxed and happy. Everything feels like it's "in place". I have friends more wonderful than I could ever imagine. So much is blossoming. In this moment I am soaking in the love and the support and being thankful for such a blessing. In this moment life is good.


What are you feeling right now in this moment? What things do you wish to enjoy?


Happy Wishings,

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I Believe In You

I've been hiding out the last few days under a little rock called self-criticism and insecurity. When you are under this rock it doesn't feel so little. I've been struggling lately on what to write about, which is pretty odd, seeing as how at the moment I have a list of over 35 topics I plan to touch on at some point or another.

So what was stopping me from sitting here and writing all of the thoughts I want to share with the world? That pesky feeling of not being good enough. Instead of trying to relentlessly push past it I decided to write about it. All emotions in life are meant to be felt and experienced, some of them we just shouldn't hold on to for too long.

I used to think that if you refused to acknowledge those "bad" emotions then they would just go away. 

It doesn't work like that. A lot of the things we feel that we don't want to, hurt, jealousy, anger, create wounds and slapping a band-aid of happiness over them doesn't make them go away. We have to feel it, we have to acknowledge it, work through it, and come out the other side, healed and whole.

Inadequacy and self-criticism are issues that I feel very close to this week. I have experienced them, I have learned from them, and now I am sending them on their unmerry little way.

This is what I have to say both to myself and to you:

I believe in you.

I believe in you so much.

Don't let the little voices named Not-Good-Enough and Why-Try? into your head and if you invite them in, don't let them stay long. They're silly little voices and they just want to cause mischief.

Believe in yourself like I believe in you. I know that you can do it. I know that there is so much limitless potential just waiting quietly inside of you.

Do you hear that?

Limitless.

Think of all of the things you could do if you just acknowledged that all of that was inside of you right now.

Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. This is for you. This is your path and you were meant to be on it.

Let go of the doubt, it has no place. Believe in yourself and the world will begin to believe in you too.

You shine, infinitely.

Love, 

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So this is what it feels like...

As I'm sure you know, because I talk about all of the time, I am a member of the beautiful Goddess Leonie's Goddess Circle. A few months ago Leonie launched her Business Goddess E-Course I was kind of apathetic about it because I didn't have a business, nor did I have the drive to create a business. I found myself being envious of all of the other Goddesses in the Circle with their fabulous ideas, creativity, and talents, and Riding their Wild Donkeys. As the Business Goddess E-course launched I realized that I was perfectly okay with not having a business, not having a "thing". It wasn't the right time for me and if was going to happen, well I'd embrace it, but I wasn't going to hunt for some greater purpose or idea.


It seems as if not looking worked! I didn't think it would be this soon, I thought maybe in a few years I'd come up with a concept and everything would fall into place. It seems the Universe has other plans. Over the last few weeks I've been having ideas and a small spark of inspiration that keeps growing and growing. The last two days it has turned into a flame that I've begun to covet. I love the will and the motivation that I have to get things done and most of all to be creative! In the last week I've painted more than I have at any point since I was in school. It's pretty fantastic. I've dived into the Business Course and I'm learning so many wonderfully helpful things!


I was laying in bed the other night and as I was laying there I asked the Universe what I was supposed to be doing. I want nothing more than to continue down this path of self-acceptance and joy. I was thinking the answer would manifest itself in thinking I ought to meditate more, or do more of this and less of that. Two days later I've been on a whirlwind of creativity, so this is my path at the moment and it is a blessed one. I hope it will lead me to being a Life Coach or in someway helping people with my unique brand of me-ness!


I see so many great, creative, scrumptious things in my future and I hope to share them with you. So if you'd like to follow my blog, "like" my page of Facebook, please do so because that would be the most awesome thing ever. Also I'd absolutely adore for you to go to the My Products page to download your free Ebook "Be Authentically You". There will be more to come in the future so feel free to sign up for my newsletter on the right to stay updated. Whoooo! I can't wait to see what the future holds for all of us!


Love love loooooooove,

P.S. As if there weren't enough "you-should-totally-be-doing-this" signs, out of the 900+ songs I'm listening to on shuffle, Exactly by Amy Steinberg, the song that inspired me to create this blog, started playing. ♥

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Wishcasting Wednesday: I Wish to Choose...

It is Wishcasting Wednesday and this week's prompt is "What Do You Wish To Choose?" I choose Authenticity. Authenticity seems to be my word for the month. It is honestly something that I am still trying to grasp the full meaning of what it means to me. I need to figure out what is authentically "me". I didn't realize that it would be so hard to figure out who I want to be and what I want, but I am making progress on the journey.

Over the last two years I have been on a path to self discovery and sometimes it feels like I've barely begun to take the first steps. I feel like I still have so much to discover about myself. At times I wonder why I bother trying to change myself. After all, one would think that the best way to be authentic would be to embrace just who I am in this moment.

I don't agree. I think being authentic is striving to be everything that I want to be. "Authenticity is the degree to which one is true to one's own personality, spirit, or character." My soul, my inner self, has so much in store for me. I know that everything I am meant to be is already inside of me, waiting for the right time to blossom. I don't think we as people should ever stop learning and growing. We should strive to be someone that allows our souls to feel full and nourished. It can feel like so much work but I know that it is worth it. I see that it is worth it. In the last month I have embraced my authentic self and it has felt wonderful.

The last few weeks have been full of joy, laughter, and lightness that has been manifested by my authentic self. I have tried not to let other people influence how I feel about myself which has probably been the biggest change. When you open yourself up to all the positivity in the world blessings manifest at every turn. There is so much joy and goodness in the world that is just waiting to be acknowledged.

Right now, I acknowledge who I am in this moment. I love who I am and I love the person I am becoming. I wish to always chose to be my authentic self. I owe myself nothing less.

May all your wishes for you come true,

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Happy Birthday To Me

Today is my birthday and what a wonderful one it has been so far. All of the things I have been thankful for have just been reinforced tenfold. I have been so blessed with well wishes and love. I am completely astounded by the friendships in my life. (I love you friends!) The greatest gift I have received this year is knowing without a doubt that I am known. I am heard. I am loved.

Isn't life grand? This is the first birthday that I can recall actually feeling older. I know it's all in my head, but I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a precipice to something great. Right now everything that I want is possible with just a little bit of help from the Universe. I can do this, I can be great, I can be a shining light.

I'm sure I made a New Years Resolution at the beginning of the year, but if I did, I don't remember it. I want to remember the resolution I'm going to make right now. I am going to be my authentic self. I am going to listen to my inner voice/spirit guides/the Divine. I need to stop, be silent, and listen.

The lessons that this last month has been trying to teach me is to let go and have faith. Stop resisting the good things in life, they will come to you if you are open to them. I can't tell you how many times situations have popped up in the last few weeks to demonstrate just that point. I can honestly say that I am learning. I'm quite amazed by how much I am learning. I guess I'm finally ready. It has taken me twenty-six years to embrace it. I no longer approach any situation in anger, I refuse to hold grudges, and I have love and compassion for everyone. I don't worry about the future, that will sort it self out, it's what I am feeling and experiencing right now that counts. What happens in the unknown future will not make me happy now. So right here, in this moment. I am happy.

I am spending the rest of my birthday relaxing in a hot, lavender scented bath, braiding my hair, and sitting at my altar just being.

Love to you Darlings,

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Breath is Life

There are so many things we can do to help our bodies and to show love to our bodies. We can eat healthy, we can exercise, we can abstain from cigarettes, alcohol and drugs. We can also breathe. I know, you already ARE breathing, but that's not what I'm talking about. I am talking about deep, slow, intentional, releasing of the breath.


When we get stressed out our breathing tends to suffer. We breathe more quickly and shallowly which can deprive our bodies of the oxygen that keeps us going. Not breathing well enough has been linked to weakened immune systems, low energy levels, depression, poor concentration, and a higher level of stress, among other things. 


There is a sanskrit word 'pranayama' which means the extension and control of the breath. There are lots of different breathing techniques you can learn to open your lungs and allow yourself to breathe more deeply. Breath is life. It is more important than water and food, it is what sustains us. Whenever I am feeling stressed out or anxious I concentrate on my breath. I clear my mind and take several deep breaths and almost instantly I can begin to feel the tension fading from my body.


Several months ago I went through a period of stress and I was so anxious day after day. I remember being at work and taking this deep deep breath and then I had this moment of such joy and clarity. I felt like I was breathing for the first time. It felt so healing, so cleansing, to let the air flow deeply into my body. I remember thinking that I hadn't been breathing. I was taking air into my body but it wasn't the same. Pranayama also means 'life force' and that is what our breath is.


If you have a few minutes I ask you to sit up straight and start being aware of your breathing. Notice the way the air feels as it goes into your body and the way that it feels when you release it. Take this time to listen to your body. Take a deep breath through your nose, hold it for five seconds, and exhale slowly through your mouth. You can do this for a few minutes, for a hundred breaths, or until you feel relaxed.


You can also turn this into a meditation practice. Meditation has so many forms and sitting with your body, being aware of your breathing, is definitely one of them. One of my favorite meditation techniques is to imagine 'breathing out' anger/sadness/impatience and 'breathing in' joy/acceptance/calm. It really does work wonders. So breathe deep, be thankful for the feeling of the air going in and out, and thank your body for all of the amazing things it does for you.


You are amazing, each and every part of you.

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A Note of Gratitude

Good morning my Loves. Lately I've been so busy with work, and participating in eCourses, and art and it's been fantastic. A few days ago I repainted my bathroom and since then I've been filled with all sorts of creative energies. Life has been good, fantastic even. I have had so many things to be thankful for that I don't know if I can even begin to list them.

I recall one moment a few days ago, just after waking up when I felt a huge wave of gratitude wash over me. It's been about two weeks now since I woke up with intense, overwhelming feelings of anxiety. I've worked hard to overcome the issues that were causing those feelings and I am so proud of me.

It was so nice to wake up and realize that I felt joy for what was to come instead of dread.

So often it is easy to be proud of others for their accomplishments, to admire them for what they've lived through and for what they do. What about yourself? What things should you be proud of? I am so proud right now of you and of me. I am so grateful that I had the support to work through the gunk and come out the other side whole and happy.

I've been feeling a little alone lately and I was confiding in a friend and he really helped me to see how silly I was being. He told me that if the people in my life are making me feel like an idiot, and making me feel bad about myself, then they don't belong in my life because I have friends that do love me, and do lift me up. He was so right.

I have tons of friends, I have more friends than I can count on my fingers and toes. It's just a matter of seeing it. I'm grateful for the reminder. Not a day passes that I don't get told that I am loved/adored/appreciated. I have such a wonderful support system, and yes, the majority of that is online, but that doesn't make it irrelevant. It is still powerful, still amazing, and such a huge part of who I am blossoming into. For some reason I was giving them less consideration than I was the people that I know in person. What a silly Dominee I was being.

Just because I don't have their physical presence doesn't mean I should be any less grateful for the support I get. I'm tearing up right now because I am so happy. I can't remember a time in my life when I felt more like I belonged. I have Leonie's Goddess Circle to thank for the majority of that. I have been introduced to, and become friends with, so many great, beautiful, amazing women. Holy Wow! (Which is my new favorite saying, I attribute it to Sara over at http://www.soulspackle.com/. She's pretty awesome by the way).

I am grateful for my life and all of the circumstances surrounding it. I am braver than I thought I could be, more beautiful than I've ever given myself credit for, and more loved than I ever thought possible. So this is my little 'Thank You' note to the Universe. Keep the awesomeness coming, please!

What are you grateful for today?

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I Am Leo, Hear Me Roar

Good morning darlings. So it's a brand new month and with a brand new month comes a brand new opportunity to be great. I'm all about giving myself second chances... 2,568 chances... whichever, ya know. ;) Every month I can start all over, I can set my intentions, I can make it great. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. No harm in trying, right?

My birthday is coming up later this month and that means I am a Leo. A strong, roaring, ferocious, lion. Raaawwrrr. I've always been interested in astrology but I've never felt very much like a Leo. Pisces, now that's a sign I can get behind, imaginative, dreamers, compassionate, and sensitive. Leos however are supposed to be fiery, dominate, brave, ambitious, and strong leaders.

Whaaaat?

Not me at all. But I'll let you in on a secret, it kinda is. I suppress those things about me because I see them as less than admirable traits. I want to be that zen yogini who is sitting outside in nature dreaming about world peace. I have those traits, yes, but I am also extremely passionate, and bold, and very, very, stubborn. I can be brave when I want to be and when you make me angry I don't think fiery even begins to cover it.

This month I am going to concentrate on being brave, putting myself out there, and going for exactly what I want. I deserve to be happy and I deserve to have the things that make me happy.

How can you use the vibrant, roaring, Leo energy to make this month bold for you?

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