Perfection Is Overrated

 Wisdom Card © Louise L Hay 

Today's Wisdom Card from Louise L. Hay says "If I wait until I become perfect before I love myself, I will waste my whole life. I am already perfect right here and right now." and "I am perfect exactly as I am."

I'm one of those people that often times has the attitude 'if I'm not going to do it well then I'm not going to do it at all'. I don't think it's so much perfectionism as the fear of failing. Maybe those are one in the same, I don't know. Take art for example, I'm not very good at it and that belief stops me from creating. It stops me from even trying. Sometimes you just have to accept that you aren't perfect and do it anyway.

A few weeks ago I was experimenting with markers and did this art project where I took a piece of paper and did outlines of my hand in all sorts of different colors. However, I didn't want the lines to overlap. By the end of the project I had goofed up and overlapped in a few places and while it was frustrating at first I didn't stop and the end result was actually pretty cool looking!

If I had to be perfect at everything I did then I probably wouldn't be doing much of anything. I'm imperfect at everything and that's okay. I'm perfect exactly as I am despite, and because, of my faults. In this moment I love myself completely, imperfections and all.

Is there something you are afraid to try because you are afraid you won't be perfect? Why not try to do it anyway and see what happens! Don't let anything stop you from loving who you are right now. You're the only one you gotta impress, you don't have to meet anyone's expectations but your own. Be kind to yourself, be gentle with yourself, and recognize that you are a perfect, amazing, being.

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Sometimes you have to fall.

I absolutely adore meditation, especially guided meditation. Guided meditation is when you listen to an audio track of someone navigating you through a scenario that your lovely brain gets to imagine.

It's calming and peaceful and after one of those especially sucky days, my secret weapon to feeling better, or at least holding onto my sanity.

One of my favorite meditations is called The Cliff by The Meditation Society of Australia and it's totally free to sign up and get access to some really great meditations.

The Cliff starts out with imagining yourself standing on the edge of a cliff, looking out over the ocean as the sun begins to rise. You are safe there. 

Take a minute to really think about that image. 

Let your mind see it in as much detail as possible. The feel of dew dampened grass brushing against your feet. The expansiveness of being so high up with so much space before you and above you. 

The colors that the sun is painting across the sky. The smell of the water and of the earth. The soft sound of bird song and the gentle crashing of the ocean waves. The way the water moves below you. The way the colors of the sky contrast with the water. The way the waves begin to reflect the rising sun. 

Imagine it with all of the power of your imagination. You are there experiencing all of that. 

I don't know about you but just thinking that makes me start breathing more deeply. It makes those little bumps throughout the day soften a little bit. Muscles start to relax and stress begins to fade just a bit.

Now imagine that you step forward, until just one foot is balancing on the cliff with the ocean below you and the sunrise before you. You lean forward and then you fall.

You let yourself fall.

But there is no fear, no worry, just the knowledge that you are safe and that in falling, in trusting, you will learn to soar. 

One of the most valuable lessons I've learned in life is to just let go and trust in God/Universe/Divine/Inner Self. Everything will work out exactly as it is supposed to. Everything will be okay. No matter how far you fall, eventually you gain your bearings. You gain the ability to fly through it.

It's scary to think of letting go of control isn't it? Sometimes you just have to jump off of the metaphorical cliff and enjoy the ride. To let yourself fall and hope that as you reach the water, wings sprout from your back and you begin to soar, to glide, to perfect freedom.

Last week I was having lots of anxiety problems. I would wake up and literally be shaking with anxiety over facing the day. It's a horrible way to wake up and after three days of it, I knew that something had to give. I realized that I was holding on to so much. Expectations and disappointments were piled on my back and they were crushing me. 

I had to let go.

I had to let go of the things that hadn't gone my way and that I could do nothing to fix. I had to stop holding on so tightly to what might or might not happen in the future. I had to stop being responsible for other people's feelings and actions. I just had to let it be. No more holding on. No holding on to anger, or jealousy, or insecurity. It's terrifying to let go, to let everything fall away from you, but to know that everything is going to work out in the end is comforting. It's all about having faith and you just have to have faith that sometimes falling equals freedom.

Take comfort in falling with nothing holding you back.

In moments of panic I close my eyes and do a quick visualization. I picture myself standing on the edge of a cliff. The sun is rising over the ocean, the colors are blossoming over the sky, reflected in the ocean waters and then I step forward and I fall. Nothing follows me, nothing gets to come along for the ride. It's just me and sweet summer air and the wind rushing over every part of me. 

I feel this brilliant sense of freedom. Sometimes I sprout wings at the last moment and start flying over the ocean, other times I slowly sink deep, deep, deep, into the water, where it is safe and warm and I can breathe and just be for a few moments. Floating on the waves, lulling me. 

Bringing me back into myself.

I always feel better afterward. So I ask you to listen to the meditation, close your eyes, and let go of your troubles and your worries, if only for a few minutes.

The Green Meditation from Green Please on Vimeo.

Ahhhh, doesn't that feel better?

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Why I Am A Bad Friend

The Golden Girls have been my favorite show for as long as I can remember. The friendship between all of the ladies is something that I have always wanted for myself and yet I don't feel like I've ever been able to find it. I don't know how to be someones' friend and at the age of 25 it feels a bit late in the game to learn. 

However, I am trying.

As a child, I had friends but as I grew to be a teenager I found myself alone. I buried myself in books and found my friends in their pages. Something that I don't talk about very much is my brother's Autism. Despite it not being something that I talk about, it is something that has greatly shaped the person that I turned out to be. I couldn't love him more and growing up his sister was a blessing to me in many ways. I loved playing games with him as a kid, I loved looking out for him, and he's a great, funny, guy. My brother is five years younger than me and for a large part of my childhood I took care of him. I remember when my mother was working two jobs and at the age of 11 it was my responsibility to bathe him, get him ready for school, wait for his bus to come and then run as fast as possible to my school a few streets over hoping not to be late. 

This turned me into a caregiver which has been a blessing to me.

I spent a lot of my summers with my brother in daycares for special needs children. Not being special needs myself, this again put me into the role of caregiver. My friends were children with Down Syndrome or severe physical or mental disabilities. I grew up feeling like a mini-adult and I didn't mind. I felt useful and that was a good feeling. Now that I'm older I wish I'd had time to be more of a kid, to have been comfortable enough to go to Prom or Graduation, to have gone to a party in high school. I wish for a "normal" childhood.

I am not normal.

I didn't have my first real friendship until I was nearly twenty and I had no idea how to be a good friend. I still don't and it's a struggle that a lot of people don't understand. If someone needs taken care of I can do that. If someone needs cheering up I'm happy to oblige. I don't really know my role outside of that. It's hard for me to open up and ask for help or advice. It's hard for me to be comfortable going to the movies or hanging out because I feel so out of place.

On the opposite side, when I do let that guard down to become close with someone, I become very clingy and selfish. This had led to the deterioration of a lot of my close friendships which leaves me feeling even more uncomfortable about friendship in general.

Right now I'm trying to be gentle with myself and gentle with my progress. I've been working on my friendships, trying to be supportive, trying to give others their space, and not making everything about me and my feelings. I am not a lost cause! I'm determined to be someone that anyone would be proud to be friends with. Patience, dedication, and heart, I believe almost anything can be accomplished with those three things.

Thank you for taking the time to read this rambling post. Any advice or wise words would of course be appreciated!

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Wishcasting Wednesday

I decided to participate in Wishcasting Wednesday. This week's prompt is 'What Do You Wish To Nourish?' The first answer that comes to mind is that I wish to nourish my friendships. However after a little bit of thought I don't think that's what I need to be concentrating on at the moment. What I really need to do is nourish my spirit.

I wish to nourish my spirit.

I've been going through a bit of a spiritual drought lately. It's hard to explain since I do things like meditate and pray on a daily basis but it lacks the passion it once had. My relationship with spirituality is much like a marriage. It's there, it's constant, I'm never going to leave, but sometimes it gets comfortable. I go through the motions without really feeling it.

There are other times when I am filled with so much passion and love for my faith. It fills me up to the point of overflowing joy and happiness. I honestly feel like a school girl in love. This week I am going to concentrate on the things that fill me up spiritually and nourish the spark of passion that I feel for my faith. I'm approaching 11 years of following this path but there is still so much to learn and to experience.


What do you wish to nourish?

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My Personal Gurus: Snatam Kaur

I have a lot of spiritual teachers, people I consider my gurus. People that have had such a huge impact on my life that I can pinpoint my changes and evolution to them. Snatam Kaur is one of those people. Her name is pronounced Suh-nuh-taum which I think is just beautiful. Snatam is an American Singer/Songwriter and a member of the Sikh religion.

Religions of all kind fascinate me and I think the Sikh religion is one of the most beautiful. Sikhism began in India and they worship by chanting, meditating, practicing peace, and living their life in accordance to their Gurus. They believe that everyone is equal regardless of gender, social standing, or religion. Most beautiful of all, they believe that all paths to God are valid and that there is no "right" way.

Not only do I love Snatam's music but I love her being. I love her light and I love her grace. Her spirit shines through her in such a beautiful way. In her photos and videos she just radiates such wonderful soothing energy. Listening to her soft spoken words never fail to soothe the turbulence of my soul.

She is a wonderful musician, a peace activist, and environmentalist. In February I attempted to do her 40 Day Sadhana to burn away inner anger. It was a 20 minute daily practice of chanting, and while I did not complete the whole forty days I did notice that anger I had been holding onto for a long time faded. It started me on a path to forgiveness. not only for others, but forgiveness for myself as well.

Her music has touched me more than any other artist I've listened to. Two of her songs have had the most effect on my life. Ong Namo has had the greatest impact on me. If I could pick one song to listen to for the rest of my life it would probably be this one. "Ong Namo Guru Dev Namo" translates to "I bow to the subtle divine wisdom. I bow to the divine teacher within." Those words are so meaningful to me. We all have spiritual teachers within us, wise, enlightened, beings that speak to us from a divine, spiritual place if we allow ourselves to listen. So often we look for outside validation and wisdom, for someone else to tell us what to do or give us what we need. That strength and knowledge is always there inside of us.

Her second song that I adore is Servant of Peace. This song makes me aspire to be a better human being. I learned from one of my wonderful Goddess Circle sisters that part of the lyrics are actually a Christian Prayer to Saint Francis of Assisi. The whole arrangement of the song, from the music, to the chanting, to her beautiful voice just makes the words come alive to me.


Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life


I live by this song and its positive message. I think we should all try to be the best people that we can be, whatever that means for you. Every path is different. Every path is sacred.

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Expressing My Unique Specialness

 Wisdom Card © Louise L Hay 

I have lots of cards. Tarot cards, oracle cards, goddess cards, and wisdom cards. Sometimes I feel drawn to take them out and do readings, or just flip through them being soothed by the artwork or the messages inside of them. This morning I got home from work and felt drawn to look through my Wisdom Cards created by Louise L. Hay. 

First off, I must say that reading You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay, changed my life. It is such a deep, deep book. It was hard for me to read more than a few pages at a time because everything resonated so deeply with me. The thing I learned most from the book was how to forgive. Really, deeply, truly, forgive. Three or four months ago, when I saw that Louise had Wisdom Cards I had to buy them. I believe I've looked at them twice since I got them. I don't know why I have an aversion to them. I think it might be because I'm intimidated by the...well... wisdom. 

I thought I might be more comfortable with them if I was able to write down my thoughts and feelings about them. Today's card is "Everyone is unique and different. If we are like other people then we are not expressing our own specialness." and on the other side "I am my own unique self."

I think I have accepted that emotionally and mentally, I am a pretty unique person. I embrace my quirks and the odd things about me and want to share them. Embracing my physical uniqueness is a bit of a task for me. I'm very afraid to allow myself to look different. I love bindis (forehead jewelry) but I don't wear them in public because I am afraid what people will say. I also love wearing bright colored skirts but I feel uncomfortable because I'd be too noticeable. 

Last night I put braids in my hair before work. I love braids. I love the almost meditative state I go in while I braid and I love the way they look. I don't think I've gone out in public with my hair braided since elementary school. I'm usually a hair-up-in-a-messy-bun kinda girl.

At work I did get teased for my braids and for all I know they looked silly to everyone else, but I thought they look great and they made me happy and I just felt wonderful and beautiful. It was good to embrace my uniqueness. I'm going to try to let it show a little more often!

I am wishing you a fabulously unique day!

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Date Night

Yesterday I had a very special date day with myself and it was just what I needed. It's been awhile since I blogged. Things have been pretty difficult for me lately. I've been so stressed out trying to get "life" in order. I haven't had the will to do very much except try to keep my head above water and not drown from the stress and anxiety of it all. I've been so focused on 'fixing' everything that was wrong that everything that was 'right' was neglected and before I knew it my life looked like a disaster zone.

My friendships aren't where I'd like them to be, my apartment is a mess, I've been a bundle of panic and stomach aches, I've had nightmares, and all-in-all I've just been pretty miserable. I want to fix all of the 'outside' stuff so badly. I want to fix my friendships that have fallen apart and let those people know that I love them. Sometimes you just have to have faith that things will work out.

I'm more of a bend-things-to-my-will-girl personally. It's not doing me any favors at the moment. Yesterday was a lesson in letting go and relaxing. I was on twitter and I made mention that there were so many things in my life to fix and I didn't know where to begin. The overwhelming response from my wonderful "tweeps" was to concentrate on one thing at a time. Advice well given. I'm trying to concentrate on me.

Yesterday, I went to a Day Spa and got a wonderful, wonderful, massage. Afterward, I stopped at a cute kitchenware store and dreamed of all of the wonderfully, yummy, desserts I could make with all the cute cupcake pans (If I was so inclined to bake, which I am not).Then I got all dressed up and did my hair in pretty braids, while wearing my beautiful turquoise jewelry. I then went and saw Harry Potter and I refused to be bothered by the fact that I was alone, because I had fun. I enjoyed the movie and it was great. I came home and slept in and today I find myself in a good mood.

I'm going to take a nice hot relaxing bath soon. I'm going to have mid-morning tea. I actually feel like writing. I feel like being creative. I feel like putting myself first. Just having a day for myself has made me feel so much lighter. The burdens have begun to lift. The anxiety has begun to fade. Hopefully I can remember that putting myself first leads to more happiness than anything else.

Things I am loving at the moment:

Sacred Space Tea Dates - Dionne the Tea Priestess always posts such wisdom and insightful thoughts. Her videos are amazingly uplifting. She has written an ebook all about tea, which I love. I never get tired of her beautiful outlook on life.

World's Biggest Summit Goddess Leonie from Goddessguidebook.com has come up with a new big BIG dream. The World's Biggest Summit coming in October. The Summit will share with you the wisdom of over 100 teachers with topics such as health, wealth, spirituality, creativity, and business. And the best thing of all is that it is completely FREE!

Omm Writer Is a writing program that makes writing zen and relaxing with pretty backgrounds and typewriter sounds. 

Sharon Gannon's Govinda Fly I have been listening to this song non-stop. It creates such a beautiful and relaxing atmosphere and it gets stuck in my head. Absolutely love it!

Thanks for reading lovelies. Until next time!

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