Who I Want To Be

I've been doing some thinking, as is my Autumn habit. It's a time for me to hunker down and figure stuff out. Look back on the year and figure out what I liked and what I didn't.

As the leaves change, I try to figure out what I want to change about myself.

I once had a friend tell me that if I really loved myself then I wouldn't feel the need to change. That thought tripped me up for a little bit. Was she right? Was all of my efforts at self improvement just a way to cover-up some secret self-loathing and not-good-enough feelings?

In the end I thought about it and I realized that I want to grow. I want to learn. I want to change. Transform. Evolve. It's like being a child. Children are wonderful as they are, but they can't stay that way forever. They've got to learn new things, new skills, new abilities. It's the same with me. There's always something to change, to do better at, but I'm still awesome right now.

Just because I want to change, doesn't mean I don't love myself now.

It took awhile for me to realize that change doesn't equal having to fix something. It's transformation. It's upgrading. I think I'm going to go around saying that "Self-improvement? I'm self-upgrading here. I'm just downloading a new app for anger-management." Let's totally start a movement with that.

The other day I was thinking about how I want to change and improve, what things I'm not entirely happy about, and I decided to write it down. (I have mentioned my worksheet addiction haven't I?)  So I made one! Who I Am Now vs Who I Want To Be maybe it will be useful for you too. I tried to keep it positive and honest. Like I said, there are a lot of things about me right now that I love. So I wrote them down, alongside the things I don't. It's all in your perspective!

That's where I'm at now, it feels like a good place, and I am so excited about what is to come, both from me and Blessing Manifesting.

Here's to hope, love, and all the good stuff!