I love them both equally.
When I first started out I was drawn to the Goddess much more than I was to the God. I identified with the feminine energy, it was something so new and exciting, especially after being raised in a religion that was dominated by men. My soul sung to be able to look at God and see myself.
When I embraced Wicca, I shunned the masculine for a very long time. I was an all out Goddess-Worshipper, and found that most other women in the religion tended to be the same. It was a bond of sisterhood. After a few years, I realized that I wasn't feeling as nourished as I did in the beginning. I had my loving, comforting, soothing Mother Goddess, but something was missing. Something strong and wild, something feral and masculine. I was missing the complete package. The one-ness, the greatness, of loving and accepting both sides of Deity. God and Goddess. Male and female. It took a lot of work to accept God into my life all over again.
I had to learn how to relate to a God that had a very different personality from the one I had grown up with.
Growing up I felt like the Christian God was a loving but stern, distant, and not very interested in me father-figure. Most of the stories I read in the bible were about men doing great things, I felt like there was no place for me.
In Wicca, the God seemed like much more the approachable type even though he held an air of mystery and wilderness. He was the kind of God that traveled through the forest, enjoying the smell of the earth, the sound of the animal life. He sat there and told stories of hunting, of the mysteries of nature. He was bawdy and open, passionate about the life-blood of the woods, the circle of life, how every beginning had an ending which created a new beginning. I was shy at first, but then we connected with each other.
I couldn't imagine how anyone wouldn't want a presence like that in their life. A strong, masculine, protector. The father figure that I never had growing up. I had a pendant that I wore for years as a reminder that God is with me, in all of his aspects. Wiseman, hunter, warrior, lover, son, and husband. Finding balance within my religion was one of the most nourishing things that I've ever done and a huge awakening experience for me. It's truly like having a good relationship with both of your parents.
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