Then I thought about yesterday, how I sat here with paper and my paints and I spent the day creating. How good and right it felt. Yet, I think back to the thoughts that I thought before I picked up the paintbrush.
"What you paint is going to suck so don't have high expectations."
"Your art is never going to look as good as anyone else's."
"Expect crap and maybe it won't be as bad as you think. It MIGHT turn out all right."
When I was an early teen I felt so good about my art. I felt like my stuff was beautiful and it didn't matter what anyone else thought because I rocked. Then the years of depression hit and every time I tried to make art I just ended up feeling bad about what I created and getting even more depressed and frustrated.
For the past six months I've been trying to get into the whole art thing and it works well, but only when I decide it's going to turn out badly. If I go in with expectations, of wanting it to look nice. I always get frustrated and I give up.
I want to reclaim my faith in my art.
I want to believe again that everything I create is beautiful.
Happy Wishings my dears!
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