So I've been thinkthinkthinking about our direction, mine and yours, and our path together, and then a beautiful idea came to me.
A sharing of our paths.
Joining, intertwining, walking side-by-side, hand-in-hand. I share with you and I cherish those moments, but what lights me up, what really makes it all worth it, are the moments when you share with me too.
Today I create this sacred space, where you can share with me. Share with me what you are working on, physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Share with me the things that you are in love with. Share with me the things you're figuring out, wishing for, and hope to be. I would love that.
Gentle sharing, with no judgement. Just lots of hugs and hand holding.
I also want to share more personal thoughts with you here, each Friday. I'm not perfect, I know this, and I'm sure you know this too, but I want you to witness those things, my wisdom and my flaws. My thoughts and imperfections. I don't want to just reflect on lessons of the past, but wisdom I am learning at this moment.
Right now I feel this urge to get to a point I'm not ready to be at. I want to get from Point A, which is realization, to Point C which is the final goal, and bypass point B - doing all of the work. Sometimes it's like a spiral and you get to Point C only to realize you have to start all over. I guess life is like that.
There's someone at my job that I really dislike. Everything about them bothers me and I find myself getting annoyed when one of my friends wants to spend time with this person. I'm trying to dig into the intricacies of why, so that I can deal with those feelings. There's something I read, that when you see traits in others that you dislike it is a reflection of what you dislike about yourself. Maybe there are hints of truth to that.
I think in the quiet, still, dark, corners inside of me I fear being replaced. Which calls my own feelings of self-worth into question. I should never fear that, because I am "me" and me is amazing and irreplaceable... so if that's not it... then I must not have trust in my relationships... Which brings more questions...
Explore all options and you'll find a moment of clarity, an answer, at some point. :)
I was reading this post this morning and I especially loved this one part. It gave me that little twitch inside that said "Think on this more."
The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene.
I don't know if I believe attachment and love cannot coexist and I don't think I can ever come from a place of pure detachment (can any of us?). I can blame it on my fiery, passionate, all-in, Leo nature, or I can just acknowledge that I know myself well enough to know how impossible that feels to me.
Loosening my grasp, letting go some, feeling things shift and widen, maybe that I can do.
I am in love with this song called Yet by Switchfoot. It's funny because it strangely enough makes me think of Blessing Manifesting and the passion that I have for the work that I do. "If it doesn't break your heart it isn't love. If it doesn't break your heart it's not enough. It's when you're breaking down with your insides coming out, that's when you find out what your heart is made of." It makes me think about how I feel when I pour out words here. So many times I have sat here with tears falling as a type, that's just how I am. So many times I've read my work months later and be moved to tears because those words came out of me and are mine. It breaks my heart sometimes, but in a good way, that I have done what I do and I have been what I am.
Today I ask you to walk with me for a little bit, to tell me about what's on your mind and in your heart.
If you want to walk with me in silence, that's okay too. I know you are here with me, and I am there with you too. A word, a sentence, your life story, it's all okay, and it is all welcomed here, you can also post completely anonymously in the comments.
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