A Very Blessing Manifesting Thanksgiving

Over here in the States it is officially Thanksgiving Day. A day to be with family and to acknowledge and appreciate the things in your life that you are grateful for.

I am celebrating softly.

I made my favorite green bean casserole. I'm going to re-watch The Hunger Games and spend time reading Catching Fire and then I'm going to sleep in preparation for working this evening at my retail job.

As I said in You Have Permission to be a Scrooge, do what makes you happy. Don't buy into the belief that this has to be a hectic time of rushing around and being stressed out. This is a time of grace and thanksgiving. If you allow it to be, it is a time of beauty and softness and family-ties and appreciation and bounty. How will you celebrate this year?

I wanted to give a (short) list of all of the things that I am grateful for today. I hope that you will share your list here too.

I am grateful for...

The number of amazing women I've met the last few years.

My little cozy apartment that is finally starting to feel like mine.

The drive to get up most days and show up and be here.

My family, a collection of amazing human beings that I gathered myself. :)

The path that led me here to where I am today, no matter how hard and difficult it was.

The number of absolutely amazing books I have read so far this year. They have been wonderful.

You. You reading this right now. Thank you.

"If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough." - Meister Eckhart

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A Collision of Magic & Stardust

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Winter Self Care

For as long as I can remember Autumn and Winter have been my favorite seasons. My childhood is full of wonderful winter memories. In the two houses I lived in growing up, I picked the coldest rooms, the remodeled attic and then basement. It was always freezing in the winter time and I loved it, often keeping my window cracked for even more blissful cold air.

Some of my favorite memories are of being snuggled up with a ton of blankets, a book in my hands, and a hot cup of cocoa. That was bliss to teenage Dominee.

Now I effin' hate winter.

I know, it makes me sad too. It happened gradually. I went from living up north in a state that had those idyllic snowy winters to a southern state where ice is more common than snow and it's really really windy. And brown and bleak looking. And kinda depressing. I'm just not into winter anymore. It used to be all about the magic of snowflakes and snowball fights and holidays. Now I just hate getting out of bed in the morning because it's cold out there and bed is so nice and warm. Ahh, bed. Maybe I'm just getting old.

I have noticed that winter is a time for more self care.

Not only does it make the winter blues go away a little bit, but it also adds another layer to the season. Time for me. I do find ways to enjoy winter even though it's no longer my favorite. I wanted to share with you some winter-specific ways to add self care into your life. ((If you want even more self care info, check out the 2014 Self Love Planner. It just came out today!))

Seek Warmth

All over. Emotionally and physically. Drink warm drinks like tea and hot chocolate and enjoy the time relaxing and sip sip sipping as the warmth seeps into your hands and moves through you. Buy extra warm socks or slippers to wear around the house. I have cow socks. They are awesome. Have a favorite blanket and wrap it around yourself (Neon blue leopard-print for the win!). Curl up on the sofa and watch your favorite childhood movies and enjoy the memories. Make a corn cozie to warm your feet before bed.

Pamper Your Body

Winter and your lovely skin don't always coexist well. Am I the only one that gets really itchy legs? Lotion and moisturizers are your friend. Use them. Especially if you take lots of hot baths like me. If your lips have a tendency to get dry, use lip balm. Protect your body with warm coats and gloves and scarfs. Your body is awesome. Keep it warm and safe.

Embrace the Concept of Hibernation

We might not be able to gorge ourselves on food and then sleep for weeks at a time but there is something to be said for turning your focus inside of yourself and towards your home, that sacred magical place where you lay your head each night. What makes you happy there? What makes it a place you want to come home to each day? Create a cozy atmosphere for yourself and then sit back and enjoy it.

Reconnect With Yourself and Others

One of the cornerstones of self care is Connection With Self. Spending time with yourself, doing the things that you enjoy, and loving every minute of it. Read a good book, spend time drawing or working on a puzzle, or crocheting or one of the many things that you enjoy doing. Reach out and take the time to connect with the people around you in a real way. Spend time in conversation. Real heart-to-heart conversation.

Do What Makes You Happy

At the end of the day, the best self care is the kind that makes you happy. Sit outside and enjoy the cold. Sit by the fire and enjoy the heat. Take lots of photos of your personal Winter Wonderland. Go to sleep early or stay up late watching snowflakes fall in the darkness. Winter is what you make of it!

What is your Winter Self Care Routine?

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Win a free copy of the 2014 Self Love Planner + Workbook

Thanks to everyone who entered! The winners were chosen at random and you can now see them below! Thank you! xoxo

I'm feeling pretty awesome right now. You see, the last few months I've been very busy creating something that I'm over the moon excited about.

The 2014 Self Love Planner Workbook.

It was finished a month before the release date which is November 24th! Mark your calendars! The sales page is already up, newsletters are set to go out, and I'm 95% ready to launch right now. I've never had my shit together like this. It's pretty awesome.

The fear of sucking and not being good enough is fading.

Usually I'm scrambling until the very last minute to get everything done. I'm stressed out and frantic which then leads to overwhelm and a bit of depression. Rarely do I ever really enjoy launching something. And marketing. Ugh marketing. It's never been my favorite thing. This all stems from insecurity and fear that I'm gonna be a big ol' failure. I'm not letting those thoughts hang around this time.

On 11/24 I'm going to give three lucky winners a free copy of my newest thing the 2014 Self Love Planner + Workbook. It's gonna be epic and I hope that you'll love it. 60+ pages o' awesome that you can print out and color on or fill in and save right from your computer! Also, my Self Love Story, What Self Love is, how Self Care can rock your world, and how you can do it easily and sustainably.

My job is to help, encourage, and remind women to love themselves.

This planner is all about encouraging you to make time for yourself every second of every day. I hope you'll purchase a copy for yourself when it comes out. It will be awesome!

To Enter the Give-A-Way:

To enter the give a way just use the Rafflecopter form below. The more ways you enter, the higher your chance of winning will be! Please share and spread the word so this can be the bestest lauch in the history of launchdom! Thanks sweetling!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Is there anything you'd like to see in this year's planner?

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You have permission to be a Scrooge.

You have permission to be a Scrooge. Okay, maybe that's a little harsh because the last thing I want is to see you on the evening news running through a department store yelling "Bah! Humbug!" But - you are allowed not to buy into the holiday cheer. You are allowed to treat the holidays like normal days.You are allowed to celebrate in a soft and quiet way. You are allowed to preserve your energy and not spend it on cooking large dinners, or spending hours shopping, or driving yourself crazy trying to find the perfect gift, or decking the halls with boughs of holly.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

If you want to bake cookies by the dozen, decorate your house like Santa's workshop, and make a Thanksgiving feast that makes Martha Stewart look like an amateur, that's awesome. But it's not a standard that you have to live up to if you don't want to.
Do what makes you happy.

I don't particularly like the holidays.

When I first moved out of my Mom's house, I was so excited to do my own holiday thing, to make my own traditions, and to have a wonderful time doing it. I quickly learned that I liked my Mom doing holiday stuff for me, I didn't care to do it myself! Ha! It became something I was forcing myself to do because that's just how people celebrate holidays, that's what I was supposed to do. It made me unhappy. It stressed me out and I never had much fun, and I tried to, I really did, because it was supposed to be fun. You shouldn't have to try so hard. Over the years even putting up the Christmas tree became a chore. Secret: it hasn't left my closet in two years and I'm okay with that.

The holidays are about enjoyment, love, family, and warm fuzzies.

It doesn't take all the trimmings to get into the holiday spirit. My ideal holiday celebration involves relaxing, watching a few holiday flicks, listening to a bit of Christmas music and consuming hot chocolate. The people I love get gift cards, and they still know that I love them, because I show it all the other days of the year.

Energy is limited, spend it where it needs spending.

Pay attention to where your energy is leading you this holiday season. Don't run yourself ragged trying to be or do it all. Get things done early and don't wait until the last minute. Learn to say no to the things that don't make your heart feel good.

This is a time for celebration. Celebrate.

In your own way, doing your own thing, with the people who make your life awesome. Don't lose the spirit of the holiday because you're stuck on the image of what you or your family expect you to be.

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Let Yourself Be Grateful

I'm going to tell you a little secret. I really don't like the holiday season. I haven't liked them since I was a teenager. When I ventured out to live on my own I desperately tried every year to celebrate and create traditions.

Each year it flopped.

Working in retail will do that to you. This year, I don't want to fall into the Holiday Grumps. I want to remember what the holiday season is about.

Love and Gratitude.

I hope that you'll join me in celebrating gratitude every single day. I just finished all of the emails and assignments this morning and I am so excited for it to start. I think it's going to be lots of fun and I really want to make this the biggest and best Monthly Challenge we've had yet. So far there are over 100 people in the Facebook group and I'd love there to be even more. Invite your friends to sign up and join us!

Sign up right now and be sure to share!

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A Different Kind of Abandon

source

Abandon. I hate that word. It brings to the forefront of my mind all of my abandonment issues, ones that I still struggle with. It's a trigger to unpleasant feelings and emotions.

My past is littered with abandonment. My biological father died without wanting to meet me, and my family and relationships have never been what I would call stable or reliable.

Abandon: that thing that people do to me.

I've been struggling with abandonment lately. It's one of those fights that looks like something out of Lord of the Rings. Big, evil, gnarly looking bad guys against little ol' me. Abandonment, and fighting against it when there's a chance it might win in the end anyway, is tough work. It's still worth trying.

I was reading, as I generally am because I've got mad bookworm skills (friend me on Goodreads my fellow book junkies), when I noticed the word abandon used in its other form. One that's not so scary. One that makes me think of running through spacious fields and feeling free.

noun

1. complete lack of inhibition or restraint.
"She sings and sways with total abandon."

Who doesn't need more of that kind of abandon in their life? Not that I'm calling you stuffy or anything, I'd never, but sometimes we just have to let go and to add a little of that kind of abandon into our lives. It makes the word less terrifying and it makes life more enjoyable.

I've been making a conscious effort to allow myself to feel abandon. It may be dancing in the dark with my body moving to the music, feeling nothing but the music and allowing myself to become lost (psst Loreena Mckennitt - Marco Polo best dance song ever). Or jogging for the first time in forever and loving the way that my legs move. Or painting while I let the rest of the world completely fade from me as I immerse myself in paints and textures. Or the way words just seem to flow out of me in beautiful and coherent ways. It's all magic.

There are so many little ways scattered through out the day that we can embrace that feeling. It usually starts with allowing yourself to focus on one thing and then allow yourself to be lost within it with no distractions. My challenge for you is to embrace that feeling abandon. What are you going to do today?

When was the last time you let yourself be uninhibited? When were you last unrestrained and wild? 

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The Power of the Nautilus Shell

Good morning my sweetlings! November is upon us and I think it's going to be an amazing one. The 2014 Self Love Planner + Workbook is all finished and ready to be released in a few weeks and so is the (free) Epic Gratitude challenge. So excited.

Each time I work super hard on something to release out into the world I inevitably get smacked upside the head with growing pains. Sometimes it's personal, sometimes it's professional and sometimes it's a little bit of both. It never feels particularly good, it's just one of those things you have to ride out and try to enjoy it as best you can because ultimately it means good stuff, even when it's painful in the moment.

Enter the Nautilus Princess and her message of Powerful Personal Growth.

This card comes from the Oracle of Shadows and Light and pictures a beautiful mermaid with long flowing red hair adorned with sea shells. In her arms she holds a nautilus shell. The nautical shell is a very important symbol within itself and one that I'm currently feeling fits perfectly in my life right now.

The nautilus, a type of mollusk who lives in its shell (which is actually its external body and part of the creature itself) is quite amazing. The nautilus has changed very little since prehistoric times. Despite that, it is a creature that represents growth, change, and evolution. The shell consists of a series of chambers where the nautilus lives. Each chamber gets bigger and bigger as the creature outgrows the smaller one and moves onto a bigger one until it outgrows that as well. The nautilus then enlarges its shell by the addition of a new chamber suitable for the next stage of its life.

This represents our ability to change and grow especially on a spiritual level.

The start of the spiral represents where we start off in our spirituality. Eventually we begin to grow and evolve, learning new things and expanding our beliefs so that they fit with who we currently are and where we are at in life.

The creature must keep building new chambers as long as it lives. It cannot go back to the previous ones; they no longer fit. It cannot stay in its present space or it will die. It has no choice but to move on and on.

This Princess in this card is uncertain of where she’s going. She knows that it’s time to move forward but she isn't quite sure how. She knows that she will have to make decisions but she’s unsure of her own power uncertain that she’ll be able to do the right thing.

She is reminded to grow in ways that are in-tune with her purpose, her integrity, and what she feels is right for her now.

It is now time to take yourself and your potential seriously. I definitely needed to hear that today as I try to shine brighter. Hopefully these words held wisdom for you too!

In what ways are you currently growing?

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Jump Start Your Creative Mojo

Happy November my friends! Are any of you participating in NaNoWriMo? If you are, let me know and keep me updated on your progress. I'm gonna be your own personal cheerleader! Go you you fabulously writer-y you! This is going to be a big month for me so I won't have the time. Sadface. However,

I know the pain of staring at the blank page.

Or blog post text box as it were. I was having that very problem the other day and I kept getting more and more frustrated. Open blog post, write a sentence, open facebook, click on links, giggle at cute cat pictures, visit youtube, giggle more, open blog, write a sentence, twitter, Burn Notice on Netflix, rinse and repeat. Does that sound familiar to anyone else? Three hours later and you've written the hell out of three paragraphs. Three measly paragraphs.

Then I remembered I can create the mojo.

You're either in the mood to write or you aren't. Just because you aren't in the mood doesn't mean that all hope is lost. You can find ways to get in the mood. Put on some "Let's Get It On" and... well that's a different blog post. Everyone has things that get them in a creative mood, find those things. I have a list a mile long of things that help and generally by the end of that list you'll find me in my writing groove.

First thing is first. Mix it up.

If what you're doing now isn't working then it's time to try something new. Easiest way to do this: Change up your surroundings. I don't mean go write somewhere else, although that's not a bad idea, but I want you to create an atmosphere around you of creativity.

For me, this usually involves opening a window and letting the fresh air in. Burning a stick of my favorite incense, lighting a delicious smelling candle, and spritzing the room with whatever essential oil I'm in love with at the time. You can see how this creates an atmosphere of relaxation and focus.

Wear the lucky underwear or nail polish. Listen to that song that always makes you want to write. (Mine is Bon Iver - Re: Stacks. What's yours?) If all that doesn't work I move on to step #2.

Woman, relax thyself.

Sometimes you just gotta totally check out for an hour or two and then come back to it. Instead of trying to break through that wall, you go and take the scenic route around it. Taking a long, relaxing, bath can do wonders. It can allow you to soak in inspiration or clear your mind so that when you come back to writing it's with a clear head. Taking half an hour to be mindfully distracted can also help. Mindfully distracted? What is that you ask? It's being distracted on purpose. Instead of allowing yourself to be distracted while the entire time you're thinking I really should be writing... Go forth, seek a distraction, and enjoy every minute of it without guilt. Then go back to the writing when your brain is ready.

Ditch the distractions.

I know, this one is a toughy but you'll be happier if you don't have 3 gazillion tabs open in Chrome. Or even one. Completely close it and don't open it again until your writing is done. Facebook will not collapse without you, I promise. Phones too, don't think I forgot! Put your phone across the room and don't touch it no matter how many notifications you get. No TV either. If you're listening to music try making your own playlist instead of listening to Pandora, that way you won't be tempted to get distracted from your writing to change songs. Instrumental songs and soundtracks are even better to get you in the zone.

When it comes to writing, you've got to allow your creative self to guide you and she can be a demanding biddy who exacts payment in massive amounts of coffee and good music. Make her happy and you'll find it easier to get over those hurdles that stop you from writing.

Are you doing NaNoWriMo? What gets you in the writing mood?

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Loving All Of Yourself

I've been pretty open about my past. I was not a good person. I was a liar and a manipulator. I was depressed all of the time. I was mean and hateful to myself and others and all of these behaviors were hiding a lot of pain and a lot of depression and an overwhelming feeling of helplessness to change my situation.

I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of.

I have abused my body. I have verbally and mentally abused the people around me. I've had anger issues out the wazoo. I have wasted years of my life by living a life that was not nourishing to me.

I talk a lot of talk about loving yourself and about loving exactly who you are. It's important. It was the thing that was missing for me during that dark period of my life. Loving all of you actually means loving all of you, past, present, and future. That's something that I struggled with and I didn't even realize it until now.

How do you love someone like that?

I usually tell PastDominee's story and then promptly stuff her back in the closet once she has taught the lesson of the cost of living life without self love. It never occurred to me to love her. Or that there was anything about her that was worth loving. She was an obstacle to get over in the quest of truly loving myself. Not part of the journey. It became normal to dislike her, to despise her, and see her as nothing but a cautionary tale of how not to be.

I was explaining to a new friend the idea behind Blessing Manifesting and my journey to get where I am. They said something very poignant to me. "I wouldn't have liked you. I'm glad you're not that person anymore." That comment rubbed me the wrong way. Part of me immediately wanted to protest.

I am that person. She's still part of me.

If that thought was true, that she was still part of me, and I disliked her, was I truly loving my whole self? That thought stuck with me for a few days, rattling around in my head. I started to pull PastDominee out of the closet and examine her closely. How did I really feel about her? Somewhere along the way I'd stopped being compassionate and started being judgmental and critical.

I realized that I do love her.

Which is the only thing she ever really wanted. I don't agree with her actions. I am sad that it took her so long to find the will to change, I'm even a little resentful of the things that she lost along the way. Still, at the end of the day, she wasn't too much different from who I am now. The core is the same.

I love her because no matter how long it took her to change, change she did.

I love her because even though she hated everything about herself she eventually found a way to love it.

I love her because no matter how hopeless she was, she never gave up on herself or life.

I love her because her experience turned into a story of beautiful transformation.

If you have a past you aren't proud of, don't write off the past you as worthless. She brought you to where you are today. She made sure that you survived.

That's beautiful.

What are your feelings toward PastYou? Do you ever resent your former self for things you did?

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Doing What I Love and Loving What I Do

I've officially been doing this whole business thang for exactly two years. The experience has been all over the place. I've gone from thinking that it's the most awesome experience ever to being moments away from throwing up my hands and throwing in the towel.

At the end of the day, I still love it. I love it a lot. 

This past month me and the biz had some couple's time. We took time away from the public and we worked on our relationship. We had some stuff we needed to figure out together.

Love will keep us together.

Having a business is a lot like being married to a demanding a-hole. It takes a lot of time and energy and sometimes the benefits don't seem worth it. You feel under-appreciated some days and over-worked others and then there are the days that you feel completely head-over-heels in love. It feels right. We're talking soul-mate stuff but relationships are difficult and it takes communication.

Become a business whisperer.

You've got to be able to communicate with your business. Know what it needs when it needs it as well as what YOU need when you need it. Then you find a balance between the two. Give and take. Compromise. Ignoring your business because it's too much work will not a happy business make. Going all in and working yourself to complete exhaustion will not bring you the love. Listening to everyone tell you what you should do to make your business work doesn't work. Each business is different, each you is different, and to make it work together you need to do your own thing.

Date your business.

Well, not really, because that would be weird, but go on business dates. I'm talking creative business planning and play dates. Take a notebook and fill it up with plans. Get to know what your business wants you to create. You might think that you know where you want to go with it, but sometimes it has other plans. Take the time to have fun with it. Spend the day doing the business stuff that you love doing.

Be flexible with your definition of success. 

In the big scheme of things my business is not what you would call mainstream successful. Most months I don't make enough to even cover the rent. That's where the pays-the-bills job comes in. Blessing Manifesting is the make-a-difference job, the make-the-soul happy job, and it does that in spades. It's successful at that, it's successful at helping other people, and that makes me incredibly happy and in love with what I do. Money isn't always the bottom line, don't lose sight of that.

What makes your business different is that it fills up something inside of you in an extraordinary way. 

Last month I released a completely free ebook called 5 Secrets To Success for online heart-centered businesses. I'd love for you to check it out and tell me what you think.

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