Filling Up My Cup: 7/27/13

Every week I take the time to read. In fact, I read a lot. Whether it's inspirational blog posts or relaxing romance novels there's not a day of my life that I don't spend at the very least, an hour of reading.

Today I want to share with you what's filling me up.

These posts and books have made my heart happy, inspired me, made me think or made me smile. Let me share them with you too!

The Beauty in Showing Up Messy Mara Glatzel (who I love to pieces) talks about being open and vulnerable and showing up real and authentic, even when it's scary.

Watch with Glittering Eyes From the Sacred Middle, the magic in seeing the beauty in the mundane and the unlikely.

Could You Be An Empath? This post is me in a nutshell. If you've ever wondered what an empath is or if you are one, read this!

Stop Pretending to Be Superwoman When you hide the vulnerable parts of yourself you're not allowing people to fully connect. How showing your vulnerability can help others, which is something I've always advocated.

A Gem in the Muck Sucky situations can inspire us to learn more about ourselves. Jodi took a criticism and learned a beautiful lesson about herself.

Romance-y Reads:

One Dance with a Duke Tessa Dare is one of my favorite authors. Her characters are warm, funny, and charming and all of her books have me giggling the entire time I'm reading.

A Most Scandalous Proposal This is Ashlyn Macnamara's first novel and it was really good! The main heroine was really great, stubborn and opinionated, just my kinda girl!

So that's what I've enjoyed reading this week! What about you? 

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Feeling A Bit Unraveled

As you know, I'm far from perfect. In fact, if you were to ask me I'd probably be able to give you a laundry of things I want to work on within myself. However, on your average day, none of this stops me from loving who I am, and it doesn't stop me from thinking I'm fabulous.

We all have our shit to work on.

Doesn't mean we're any less for it. I've talked a bit about how I used to have pretty terrible anger issues in the past. It took a lot of work but I made a lot of progress over a year and a half. Then I got bell's palsy, got put on steroids, and had my period all at once. The work unraveled, the rages came back and I felt like the Hulk's little sister. Since then, I hate to say it, but a lot of the anger issues have resurfaced. I find myself getting super angry at little things and being unreasonable with my emotions. Which creates more anger because I get angry that I'm angry.

So I am doing the work.

At first I just figured that I'd fall back into my old patterns of dealing with my feelings in a positive manner. Just give it some time and I'd bounce back because after all, I'd done all of that work and surely it couldn't have all unraveled within a really bad month. However it seems as if it has. So I'm re-learning something important.

I control my emotions, I do not let them control me.

They're like wild horses. I finally got control of them, lovingly put them in nice little stables, got to know them and we lived happily together until a storm came by, blew it all away, the horses got loose and now that they've got free rein, they don't want to come back. Little do they know, I'm not good at giving up.

I've been doing a lot of work on dialectical thinking.

Dialectical thinking allows two conflicting ideas to be true at the same time. For example, when I disagree with someone it doesn't mean I am right and they are wrong. I am right and they are right. It's really allowing me to open up and see the other side of the situation as well as stop myself from all or nothing thinking, which is something that I've always struggled with, I'm a bit of an extremist in my emotions!

I've also been incorporating yoga, meditation, mindfulness, self-soothing and self care into my practice. There are many paths to wholeness and I love figuring them out, trying new things and discovering what works for me.

How do you go about changing yourself? How are you working on yourself right now?

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Relax and Open Your Heart

Here's your oracle card for the week! The Goddess of Creation from the Gaia Oracle and it's all about transformation, creativity, and wholeness. Do you ever get stuck in those ruts when you find yourself taking everything seriously? I get that way sometimes.

I'm forever learning to balance work vs play.

Once I leave the pays-the-bills job I have six hours to do as I please before its time to go to sleep. How to spend those six hours? That's the eternal question going through my mind.

My self care routine dictates at least two of those hours be spent lounging in a warm bath or in bed with a book. The three B's make Dominee a very happy girl.

How to spend those remaining four hours? I tend to take them seriously as I imagine all of the emails I could answer, posts to respond to, updates to make, projects to work on, ya know, all of the stuff that comes with doing what I do.

But what if I didn't constantly think of those things? What if I stopped taking it so seriously?

Last week I did yoga for the first time in nearly two years. I'd been wanting to forever but I kept coming up with the same excuse:

I just don't have the time.

What if I made the time but fell behind on my to-do list? What if I made the time but felt guilty for not getting something else done? Was the benefit of a few poses more important than all the other "stuff"? What if I just waited for my weekend and made time then? Eventually I asked myself "What if I stop taking it all so seriously? What if I just do it?"

So I did it. And I did it again the next day, and the again the next.

Oh my goodness did it make me feel wonderful. Not just the act of doing it, but that fact that I stopped making excuses, and that I added another bit of yumminess to my day.

Then I started thinking about what other bits of yumminess I was stopping myself from experiencing. Maybe I wanted to spend an hour working on Harry Potter fanfiction. So I did.

Transformation started happening.

Relaxing my grip, opening myself up to yumminess, adding more play in my day had changes happening in my life in a matter of days. I felt more balanced just with those small shifts, the lingering tendrils of depression that were hanging on dissipated, I started feeling more creative altogether. My brain stopped focusing on all the things I had to do and it started dreaming and brainstorming. I started feeling more beautifully in touch with all aspects of myself.

Just more proof that when you take the time to do for you, amazing things happen.  

What things do you need to make more space for in your life?

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The Weekly Cute 7/24/13

The other day I was thinking of things that automatically cheer me up and give me the happies. Best Answer: Cute baby animals. I mean, that's just one of the things that the internet was created for right? I secretly think that the internet is an elaborate plot for cats to regain their power as rulers of the Universe. Anyhoo here are the things I've found cute this week!

Which is your favorite?

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If Only I Could Tell You...

How much you deserve to be happy.

I wish I could put into words, words that would wrap around you and sink into your skin, how much you deserve it.

If only those words would seep into the cracks created by your sadness and your pain, filling you with a light that would radiate from you. One that you wouldn't shy away from because you believe you're all shadows.

I wish you could see what I see in you.

If only I could tell you to stop wrapping your mistakes like a barrier around yourself that repels the kindness that the world gives back to you. For you are kind and good and all of the things that the world needs if only you'd see it, accept it, and be it.

If only I could tell you that happiness is there for the taking, given freely and waiting to be accepted if only you'd accept it. But you feel like it's something that you need to pay for and you're so far in debt already. Afraid that you'll take it and lose it and then where will you be?  Owing more than you can handle with no relief in sight. It's a burden you bear that could be shared if only you'd voice it.

If only I could tell you that happiness is something that you get to keep forever if you want it. It becomes part of your essence if you dare to believe it.

If only I could tell you to be brave, to grasp it, and never let go.

Simply because it's worth it, you're worth it, and happiness is yours. 

#randomthoughtsfrommybrain #wantedtobeshared #lovelettertoyou

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Goddess Wisdom: Yemaya's Story

My spiritual path has always been rather Goddess-Centered. I remember a time when I was absolutely in love with Yemanya, or Yemaya, nearly a decade ago.

There was just something beautiful about her that spoke of comfort, of freedom, and letting go and with my turbulent emotions, she was just what I needed.

Her Story.

Yemanya is such a Universal Goddess. She originated in Africa and is now worshiped in Brazil as well as Haiti and Cuba in the Santeria religion. Who doesn't love a Goddess of the Ocean? A mermaid with pearls threaded through her hair.

Yemaya is a Yorubian Orisha, or Goddess of the Ocean who is the mother of all. She is the source of the water that gives life in West Africa. She is a protection Goddess and also resides over fertility and creation. She is a fierce protector of women. When you're going through a hard time that has a lot to do with emotions, this Goddess is a great one to learn from and to seek comfort with.

Some legends say that after being raped, Yemaya decided to end her own life. She threw herself from the top of a mountain and as she did fourteen Orishas, or Gods, emerged from her body and sacred waters gushed from her womb, giving the gift of water to the earth below, creating the seven seas.

What she teaches us.

Yemaya teaches us that things are always changing and that through those changes compassion and gentleness allows us to create and transform through the process. She encourages us to seek the Divine Mother within ourselves, that strongly protective, infinitely loving, aspect that is inside of us all and to turn it inward.

Yemaya reminds us that like surfing the waves, timing is everything. When opportunities present themselves, you must be ready. Embrace the rhythm of the tides and allow it to wash away your doubts. If you feel that it's time, don't hesitate, trust your gut.

Connect with Yemaya

Yemaya is often depicted as a mermaid or as a woman standing among the waves crashing on the shore. You can connect with her by holding a seashell up to your ear and hearing her echo. Visit the ocean, walk through the waves and allow yourself to be cleansed and comforted by her embrace and her gift to all life.

You can wear the colors blue and white, especially skirts, allowing the material to swish around your legs. Embrace the sensuality of the every day.

Singing, dancing, and drumming are also ways that you can connect with Yemaya. Anything that raises a happy, positive, vibration around you is perfect. There is one song that I've loved forever by SpiritSong Drummers and this one is perfect too!

She is associated with the moon, white and blue flowers, cowrie shells, pearls, and mermaids.

Journaling Prompts

What are you waiting to give birth to?
What's waiting to be created?
How can you recapture your creative power?
What part of your life needs a wave of new energy?

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Citronella and Creepy Insects.

I am really creeped out by mosquitoes, incredibly so. I'd rather have spiders crawling all over me than see one mosquito on my arm having a cocktail of Domineeblood. Ew. Gross. Double gross. I never kill insects if I can help it, but mosquitoes make me so slap happy I can't really help it.

It's summer-time and that means mosquitoes and that means it's time for the secret weapon.

Citronella essential oil.

Citronella is famous for it's mosquito repelling properties. Citronella candles are basically a summer must-have, it has a pleasant smell, it's easy to find, and it works.

I work overnight and a few times a week I walk to work at 9:30pm, prime time for the creepy-crawlies to attack me with their blood-sucking terror. Not only does it repel mosquitoes but fleas as well.

I've taken to wearing a body spray made out of citronella essential oil and I am happy to say that it works. I haven't had one itchy mosquito bite since I started wearing it. The only drawback is that the effects do not last long. It's best to respray yourself every half hour or so if you're going to be outside. If you're not a fan of the smell, you can blend it with lavender, which is also a mild repellent and smells yummy.

Wanna know what else works? Catnip!

If you want to be covered in kitties and repel the blood suckers, well there ya go! To use these essential oils for your bug repelling needs, here you go. (Remember to test essential oils on your skin before using them, sometimes your skin can have a negative reaction)

Repellent Spray
Get a little spray bottle, add about 2oz of water and then 10-15 drops of citronella and 8-10 drops of lavender. Spray this on yourself every 30 or so minutes when you're outside.

Repellent Lotion
I always keep a bottle of unscented lotion on hand. Squirting some lotion in your hand and mixing it with a few drops of oil makes for a good carrier in a lot of aromatherapy recipes.

You can also add drops to a diffuser or a candle to repel a small area around you.
Remember to be safe with essential oils, make sure they aren't going to negatively affect your skin and never use pure essential oil on your skin without mixing it with something first!

What's your secret to repelling the bloodsuckers?

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Couples Therapy

I talk about loving yourself a lot, but it's really not an easy process, depending on your starting point in the journey. If you are starting at rock-bottom, it's a pretty tedious, exhausting, terrifying process.

Think Frodo's journey to Mordor.

Love yourself. Two simple words and a whole lot of work. It's more than just doing nice things for yourself, it's more than having a positive attitude, it's a get-your-hands-dirty kind of job.

It's basically couples therapy.

Think about it! You're in a relationship  and you get called nasty names all of the time. Fat, ugly, useless, things like that. Whenever you make a mistake things get blown out of proportion and it's all your fault and piles of blame are heaped on top of you. You never go out and do things and tokens of love are nonexistent in your life. That sounds like a pretty crappy relationship doesn't it? But so often we have that kind of relationship with ourselves.

It's negative, abusive, and you get no nourishment from it.

It's really hard to turn that around and oftentimes it's a pretty intensive process and just like repairing any relationship, there are a few areas that you should concentrate on.

Communication
How do you communicate with yourself? What things do you tell yourself when you're upset and having a bad day? How often do you compliment yourself, your looks, and your achievements? This is one of the most important things that you need to work on when embarking on a journey of self love. Changing the way that you communicate with yourself and your body is the #1 game-changer.

Honoring Needs
When you're in a relationship it's a fine line to walk between making sure that your needs are met and meeting another person's needs. It's all about the give + take and making sure that you're not doing too much of one and too little of the other. In self-love you've got to balance your needs with what the world wants from you. If you need to say no to someone, honor that. If you need to relax, or take a vacation, or put yourself first, honor that as well.

Trust
You have to form a bond of trust with yourself and your choices. Get in touch with your intuition, trust yourself to know what is best and make the right decision. You may screw up sometimes but you work through it and you learn, and you make better decisions next time. Trust in yourself and your abilities to get you exactly where you need to be. You will fuck up, but you'll also rebuild the trust and do better next time. Support yourself and your dreams.

Acceptance
Above all, we want to be loved and accepted unconditionally. We want to know that when we accidentally muck it all up, everything will still be okay. When we turn that love and that acceptance on ourselves, oh how things begin to shift and transform in our lives. There's no more beating ourselves us, no more self-recrimination, just lovingly accepting that we make mistakes, that we can learn from them, and move on to be better and stronger people.

What do you think is a hot topic for self love?

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Stay In the Picture

Before I started my self love journey about three years ago I absolutely hated having my picture taken. Hated, despised, loathed it. Very few pictures are in existence from the age of 15-25 and the ones that you will find were taken covertly by my little sister and were quite unflattering as I was likely to be in the midst of eating or making a funny face.

Then self love happened and I realized something.

I had no tangible memories. No pictures of myself with any of the people I knew in high school, no pictures of me with any of my family members back in Ohio, no pictures of me with my friends, no pictures with my niece when she was a baby, none of me with my first boyfriend (hey, at least that one I don't miss the memories of!). The point is, I had so many opportunities to permanently capture memories but I didn't because of one silly reason.

I hated my face.

Imagine hating something that you have to see every day, something that's permanently attached to you, that you have to carry around forever. Eventually I got over it because it is my face and I am going to have it forever, I ought to find a way to love it, and I did. I love it fiercely.

So I started taking pictures of it.

Of my gorgeous brown eyes, the freckles scattered all over my face (that I absolutely love!), my happy smile, my crazy curly hair. Don't get me wrong, I don't like every picture of my face that I take, but that's okay. As long as I can like 1 in 50, or even 1 in 100, then I'm farther along than I was five years ago.

I look at the photo gallery in my phone and see over 200 pictures of myself. Captured memories of happy times, good hair days, bright smiles, freckles galore, contemplative gazes, and a love and appreciation for that thing that I call my face.

I want to share that face-love.

Blessing Manifesting's Monthly Challenge for July is all about taking pictures of your face. You might hate it at first, you might think that every picture you take sucks, but eventually there will be that one where you go:

"Hot damn I'm fucking gorgeous."

...or something to that effect. I hope that you'll join the challenge. You can sign up for e-mail reminders as well as resources, daily assignments, and a free ebook, or you can just make a greater effort of including yourself in the pictures you take and those that are taken around you!

Stay in the picture!

Please share, spread the love, and get your friends and your peoples to join!

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Waves of Love

Want to know a secret? I haven't blogged in ten days. Maybe you noticed, or maybe you didn't. I pride myself on my (mostly) consistent blogging because in my life it's pretty easy not to be consistent and you might not know it, but I can be pretty flighty. I have commitment issues.

What have I been up to?

I've been soaking up inspiration, creativity, and healing. I'm pretty good at recognizing the signs of burn-out and doing what I need to do before I fully reach that point.

I've got burn-out-busting skills.

Whenever I start feeling the yucky feelings cropping up I immediately go into Epic Self Care Mode. I cut out the daily biz things that aren't absolutely necessary. I sleep a lot, or spend time reading a lot, or hours in a warm bath. Water is a great healer to me. When I take a wee step back, turn my energy inward instead of outward, fill up my inner well, immerse myself in love for myself and love for what I do, things start getting better. It's a bit of an "absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing. When I step back it allows me to wholly and fully appreciate what I do and why I do it.

Allow yourself to step back, but don't allow yourself to run away.

If you're doing something that matters to you, that makes you happy, that fills you up, don't let a bad week, or even a bad month make you think that you should give up. When you put a lot of energy, love, and devotion into a project sometimes your reserves get low and you have to give them time to replenish themselves. It's not a sign that it's not meant to be. It's not a sign that you ought to give up.

This week's oracle card from the Gaia Oracle is Ocean of Eternal Love and the message is so spot on for where I've been the last few weeks. Love has an amazing power to heal. It has the ability to change and transform the things around us. This card reminds us of that power.

Now is the time to plant seeds in a barren land and watch them begin to flourish. This could be a project that we've been scared to start, or something inside of us that we are willing to work on. If we allow ourselves to love through the process it gives us the power to make the changes and the miracles that are waiting to burst into our lives.

What in your life needs a few waves of love crashing over it?

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