Date Thyself

Being the single lady that I am, over the years I've gotten used to going out and doing things on my own. I like going out on dates with myself and treating myself to little adventures. On Wednesday, I went and saw World War Z (because zombies are awesome) and I had a great time sitting by myself enjoying the movie.

I talked a little bit about it on Facebook and was happy to hear that a lot of other people like going out on solo dates as well, but some of you are still skeptical.

Chances are you're afraid of feeling awkward and looking weird.

That's totally okay, because you probably will feel awkward the first time and you might look weird, but weird is awesome because it encourages others to be weird and awesome too.

There are so many ideas for solo dates. You can go out to dinner, go out to the movies, go get a massage, or a manicure, or visit a museum. You can go to the bookstore and then to a coffee shop, or go look at art, or find good live music to listen to. Taking a trip to the park and enjoying writing blog posts used to be a favorite of mine!

Don’t let being alone intimidate you!

If you feel a little awkward about being alone bring along a book, notebook, sketchbook, a laptop, or a fully charged phone, it'll makes things a little bit easier, and if you start feeling awkward you can distract yourself. If you need a little bit of inspiration on the whole aloneness front CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO it's totally inspiring and after you watch it you'll feel pretty good about the going out alone thing. 

You can also have a stay-at-home date.

Cook yourself a great meal. Take a luxuriously long bath. Have a movie-marathon of your favorites or watch the newest release. Cuddle up with a good book. Make a cup of delicious tea. Sit outside on the porch and enjoy being alive.

For your date, get all dolled up, wear what makes you feel good and confident and sexy. Put on makeup or don’t, wear a dress or your favorite jammies, as long as you’re happy it’s all good. Think about buying yourself a new outfit or even new underwear. Never underestimate the feeling of absolute world-dominating power you can feel with some pretty, sexy, underoos.

What's your ideal date with yourself?

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Three FREE spots on Journey Through Journaling!

If you've been interested in my Journey Through Journaling ecourse, here's your chance to win a free spot ((valued at $45))! It can be a pretty intensive ecourse, 6-weeks of daily writing designed to help you tell your story.

There are so many prompts created to uncover the dark aspects of your story as well as shine light on the beautiful things that are happening in your life.

JTJ starts Sunday July 14th!

This course is perfect if you're a blogger who wants to add more of yourself or your personality to your website but aren't sure what to write about it. It's also great for shedding light on issues that you still need to work through or deal with. Write about the things that you're proud of, ashamed of, what you fear, and what makes life worth getting up in the morning.

Today I'm giving away three FIVE free spots to the July 14th session. If you've already signed up and you win you can get a refund for your purchase or give it away to the person of your choice.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

I hope you'll sign up and share with everyone you know! I also have a 50% commission Affiliate program.

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My Favorite Self Love Quotes

Ya know, I love quotes. You totally knew that already didn't you? I love them because they are quick, easy, spoonfuls of wisdom that have the ability to go straight to the heart. Some quotes, just a few sentences strung together, can completely transform the way you see things or the way your mind connects with a situation.

Here are a few of my favorites.

If I could give you one key, and one key only to more abundant life, I would give you a sense of your own worth, an unshakeable sense of your own dignity as one grounded in the source of the cosmic dance, as one who plays a unique part in the unfolding of the story of the world... -- Greta Crosby

“It doesn’t matter whom you love or where you move from or to, you always take yourself with you. If you don’t know who you are, or if you’ve forgotten or misplaced her, then you’ll always feel as if you don’t belong. Anywhere.” ― Sarah Breathnach

“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don't know it, all of that doesn't even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It's not like you have forever, so don't waste any of your seconds, don't throw even one of your moments away.” ― C. JoyBell C.

“There comes a point when you either embrace who and what you are, or condemn yourself to be miserable all your days. Other people will try to make you miserable; don't help them by doing the job yourself.” ― Laurell K. Hamilton

“Never be afraid to fall apart because it is an opportunity to rebuild yourself the way you wish you had been all along.” ― Rae Smith

What are your favorite inspiration inducing quotes? Share 'em!

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Strange Brain Territory

Is June over yet? In fact, I think I'm ready for 2014! This year has held some hard times and as we reach the half-way point of the year, I find myself reflecting, contemplating, and wandering into strange brain territory.

Strange Brain Territory: Thoughts that you aren't used to, that make you feel wibbly.

Today's card from the Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle is spot on for me at the moment. This card represents those exact feelings of wandering into new territory and the uncertainty that comes from that.

This Faery looks like she'd be in her element as she wanders through the woods. In reality she's not confident, she's nervous, and afraid that perhaps she's not where she's supposed to be. She's hesitating, feeling unsure and awkward as to whether or not she should keep moving forward or go backward.

Wouldn't a compass be great right now?

Usually when we feel out of our comfort zone, and out of our element, it's a good thing. It means we are stretching, growing, blossoming, and moving. To do anything else invites stagnation in our lives, yet moving brings with itself a little bit of terror.

Question the path you're on.

When you start feeling that uncertainty and that scardy-cat-ness, question it. It might be time to choose a new direction or it might just be time to choose a better attitude, to be brave and wander into the unknown with a pep in your step and a smile on your face. Get in touch with your inner compass. Ask yourself these questions:

Why are you scared?
What's stopping you from wanting to move forward?
If you didn't move forward, what would happen?
Will this path benefit you in the future?
Does this align with who you want to be?

Tap into that inner guidance and figure out where you are truly meant to be going, and what in the end, is going to make your heart and soul soar.

If you'd like a bit of personalized wisdom from me, another tool to find your direction, I'd love to do an oracle card reading for you!

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Happy Positive Social Media

I have a pretty happy online life. I don't get bogged down in negativity or drama and most of the time, hanging out on Facebook and Twitter makes my day a little brighter. Then again, I know some pretty amazing people.

I want to show you how I do it and help you to do it too. Don't let Social Media bog you down and suck the life out of ya!

#1 Have awesome friends.

If you want to have an awesome social media experience, you have to surround yourself with awesome people. Don't just limit yourself to people you get to see every day or those folks from high school that you never talk to. Follow/Friend your favorite authors, bloggers, and people that inspire you or give you the giggles. (psst! You can find me here!)

#2 Don't feed the trolls.

A troll is an internet a-hole that likes to piss people off. Do. not. feed. the. trolls. Seriously. If you see an inflammatory post on your social media, or your blog, don't give it your time or attention. Delete it or ignore it. Believe me, it's not worth your time, you've got more important things to do, like living your happy shiny life and being a badass. Arguing with idiots accomplishes nothing.

#3 Utilize Facebook's Lists

Facebook has this "List" feature and it's awesome. Adding people to certain lists allows you to see certain people's posts, as well as share certain posts of yours with a select few people.

So how do you do it?

Say you want to make a list of a certain group of Awesome People. Go to https://www.facebook.com/bookmarks/lists and choose "Create A List". Once you create the list make sure to add it to your "Favorites" by clicking the little edit icon next to the name of your list. You can then see your list on the Facebook Homepage!

To add the Awesome People to the Awesome People List go to your friend's profile page, hover over the "Friends" tab and then click "Add to another list..."

Want to share something with only certain people? 

Facebook has you covered. Maybe you're going through a really tough time and don't want to share the details with everyone you know. Maybe you're afraid of judgement, or that the busybody you know if gonna spread your business everywhere. Share your status with the people you're comfortable sharing it with.

We all have that friend, you know, that friend. The one that posts the negative political stuff you're not a fan of, or pictures of abused animals that you're too sensitive to see, or the one that's always complaining about something. You don't have to unfriend them. Just hide them from showing up in your newsfeed. Voila, no negativity but without the possible drama of the 'unfriending'!

#4 Twitter has lists too!

Depending on how much your people tweet, a lot of good tweets might go unseen and it can be a lot of work to individually visit people's twitter profiles so you don't miss anything. Create a list so you can easily keep up!

Go to your buddy's twitter page, click on the sillouette of a human bust, and then click "Add or remove from lists..."

Create a list or add certain people to your already existing list. Awesome people are everywhere! It also helps keep up with your favorite bloggers, musicians, and generally other fantastic people.

You can find your lists by going to your Twitter homepage, clicking on "Lists" and then clicking on the title of the list. There you will find the twitter feeds from all of those people you want to connect with, without the clutter!

#5 What's your favorite way to keep social media positive?

I'd love to hear how you keep your online time positive and happy inducing! Share in the comments or let me know on Facebook!

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Business + Depression

Somedays I get really depressed. It's hard to deal with that when you work 40 hours a week at a retail job and it's even harder when you run an online business to boot.

I do it anyway, and most days I do it gladly.

Then there are the other days. The days when I question what I'm doing because all I want to do is hide away in my apartment and do no work ever.

That's the Depression talking.

She reminds me of the days when I sat around playing video games all day and when my diet consisted of pizza and ice cream.

"You were happy then," she whispers. "You didn't have to do anything, no responsibilities. You could sleep all day if you wanted, play whatever computer games you wanted, eat as much as you wanted, all day long..."

She tells me that I was happy but I know the truth, I was miserable then. I tell her that those things didn't make me happy and she should know better. So she changes her tactics, gets a little meaner.

"You're not making a difference. Nothing that you do is going to matter in the big scheme of things. You're just wasting everyone's time. Just quit. No one will notice or mind. Don't show up anymore.  Just quit."

It's really hard to run a business when Depression visits.

Lately, I've been dealing with it. It's a rather hard line to walk, depression vs. my business, but I'm beginning to feel like an old pro. I thought I'd share how I cope for anyone out there that fears Depression will keep them from doing the stuff they really want to do. We can work around her.

Push yourself, but not too far.

Sometimes the only thing that I can do is push through the depression. The thing is, I have to use my intuition to know if pushing is going to help or hurt. Somedays I won't want to do anything at all, and that's okay, so I don't. Other days, it is worth it to push through the resistance and do it anyway because it reminds me of how much I love what I do. It's a thin line to walk, knowing when to rest and when to push, but it's important to know yourself well enough to know what's best for you.

Manage your time.

I spend two days a week doing the bulk of my online work and the rest of the week doing the little day-to-day things or working on projects. Managing my time that way gives me the opportunity to rest when I need to. I can spend five days focusing almost solely on myself if Depression decides to visit, yet I don't lose my stride, and if I spend five days not working, when I get my mojo back, I'm not completely overwhelmed with everything that I have to do.

Know your cycles.

My bouts of depression usually don't last very long, a week at most, every few months and are moderate in severity. I'm thankful for this, and especially grateful that I'm attuned with myself and my cycles. When depression plans a visit, I hear her coming and I start making plans to make her stay as short and unpleasant as possible.

Know what will make you feel better.

Aside from giving myself time, I have my Depression Kit. It's not a real kit, just a list of things I know to do for myself. Something on that list will make me feel better. I might have to try twenty things, but one of those things will loosen Depression's hold on me. I don't give up. Ever. On those sucky days, practice EPIC SELF CARE.

Don't beat yourself up about it.

Don't feel guilty for not blogging, posting, updating, creating, emailing, whatever-it-is-that-you-do -- when Depression comes to visit. Guilt will eat you up and take the joy out of your business and it's a killer. Letting other people down, especially your peoples, sucks but at the end of the day, if you're taking care of you, you're ultimately helping your business and making yourself available in a healthier way. Let the guilt go.

What you do is important. 

Even though Depression may tell you otherwise, what you do is important, and if it makes you happy, on the normal days, then hold onto that, don't forget it, no matter what mean ol' Depression has to say about it.

Does depression ever stop you from doing the things you want to do? What are your own tips?

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Summer Solstice

This Friday marks the first official day of Summer, or the Summer Solstice. It is the longest day of the year, when the sun reigns as king in the sky.

It's a celebration of light.

A celebration of heat and passion and sunshine and sweat trickling down your back as the sun shines on you.

I love the celebration of the seasons and marking the changes as the wheel of the year turns.

You can celebrate the season of summer in so many different ways. Go outside and spend time in nature, enjoy the sunshine upon you, the sun that nourishes all of the things that you see and gives them life. The energy that you feel buzzing and vibrating through you and the things around you, is the energy of summer. The heat radiating from the pavement, the shadows created by the sunshine through the trees, the warmth of the soil beneath your feet.

Noticing those things, those simple summertime things, and appreciating them, is a great way to celebrate.

Go outside and go on a nature walk. Spend time playing outside with your family. Go camping or swimming. Show your appreciation for Mama Earth and all she gives us by spending some time with her.

How are you going to celebrate summer?

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Blessing Manifesting's Meditation Challenge

I came up with the idea last year that it would be awesome to have little monthly Life-Improving challenges but then life got in the way and I got busy.

Sometimes it's hard to make changes and we need a little bit of an extra push to start making good things happen.

That's why, for the rest of the year, I want to run  (free) monthly one-week challenges designed to encourage you to make your life awesomer. More awesome.

Awesometastic.

So far, I have Meditation (this month's challenge), Take Your Picture week, Body Movement, Seven Days of Play, Art-a-day, and maybe some other things will come to me.

Any other week long challenges you'd be interested in?

Starting June 23rd we're having a Meditation Challenge, you can sign up here! I have a confession to make, I am not a huge fan of traditional meditation. Sitting still, in complete silence, doesn't do a lot for me, but there are other forms of meditation and I want to share them with you.

Meditation can be more than just sitting in quiet or chanting 'om'. If you don't like meditating or you feel intimidated by what you think meditation should be, then this challenge is for you!

I like to use guided meditations as well as nature sounds and spiritual music to meditate to. Every day for a week you'll get a meditation reminder e-mail as well as links to my favorite (free) guided meditations around the interwebz AND an invite to a Facebook group for extra accountability.

Want to know more?

I hope you'll accept the challenge!

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Self Love Assignment: Your Self Love Song

I remember the summer of 2004 well. Alanis Morissette's latest album So-Called Chaos had just been released and it was perpetually playing in my walkman.

That was a pretty bad time for me.

Days after graduating high school, my family and I picked up and moved across the country.

The stress and upheaval of the move devastated me and triggered my stress and depression in a horrible way.

I became borderline agoraphobic. I was in a new state with no friends and living with my family who I wasn't on good terms with. I didn't think I was smart enough to go to college and The Depression stripped me of any drive or desire to try. The thought of getting my first ever job crippled me with even more stress and anxiety.

In the two years after the move I rarely left the house. Eventually, I started taking short walks around the block, Alanis Morissette blaring in my ears. I fell head over heels in love with her song "Everything".

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here

I remember thinking with my whole entire heart that I wanted someone to love me. To save me from the despair that I was feeling, to make me feel better. I wanted someone to love me even though I felt like a completely 'effed up mess of a human being. That song was my lifeline of what my life could be like if only someone would find me worth loving.

Fast forward nine years!

A few days ago, my mp3 player bit the dust and as I was adding music to my new one, I realized there were tons of songs I hadn't listened to in years. 

I heard the song again.

And I had that moment.

A moment.

Where everything just stops and you get smacked upside the head with a 2x4 of wowage. The song took on a whole new meaning and it was one of those moments when you feel like bursting into tears because it is so perfect and real and you realizing that something amazing has been unearthed within you.

That song is about how I feel about myself. How unconditionally I love myself. It never falters. I have realized that I am never leaving myself to flounder in self-hate and loathing. I am here for the long run. Every single wish that I had nine years ago has manifested in the love I have found for myself.

I have a Self Love assignment for you!

What song best describes your relationship with yourself? 

Share with me and let me know what your self love song is!

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Journey Through Journaling: Inspiration

The first round of Journey Through Journaling is just about to wrap up and I have loved the whole entire process. The next round starts July 14th and you can sign up right now.

I've been going through the journey myself, writing nearly everyday and I have been surprised at some of the things that flow out. Things that are deep and dark and give me that little shiver. Things that are so real and raw that I wonder if I'll ever share them with anyone. (I'm sure I will at some point)

It really made me realize that there is more to my me-ness, that I am more than I think I am, that there are layers upon layers of stuff I haven't even begun to dig into. Good stuff!

Today I wanted to share one of the prompts and some of my writings about it.

Inspiration.

Who or what inspires you the most? Why? What do you think is your most inspiring quality? Have you ever been an inspiration to anyone? Is there anything you want to inspire people to do/be/feel/create? What are your favorite inspirational books, movies, music, and media?

Growing up, I can't think of a single person that I felt inspired by in a big way. I look at my adolescence and the only thing that really stands out are my best friends at the time, ya know, the ones that lived in books. Alanna and Daine who were created by Tamora Pierce and Anne Shirley from Anne of Green Gables. 

It wasn't until about five years ago that I found the inspirational real-person jackpot: Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy or SARK. She inspires me because she's flawed, she's been broken, and she doesn't let that hinder her or stop her from being shiny and amazing.

She was the first person that really showed me that just because I have depression doesn't mean I have to be depression. 

I think I've tried to live up to the things that I find inspiring in her. I've been inspirational just by sharing my story and being open and honest about the stuff that goes on in The Life of Domino. I think my ability to remain (mostly) optimistic is one of the things that I find inspirational about myself. I want to inspire others to know that they don't have to define themselves by the bad stuff that has happened to them. But most of all, I want to inspire people to know that they are worth loving.

Body. Mind. Soul.

Aside from SARK's books, I have been inspired by so many other authors. Musically I'm inspired by Krishna Das and Snatam Kaur. Add in my online inspirations and I have too many to list but there are a few notable ones: Allison Crow, Stephenie Zamora, Mara Glatzel. They are fantastic!

So tell me sweetstuff, what do you find inspirational? What's inspirational about YOU?

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Do you feel not pretty enough?

This week's message comes from the Angels, Gods, and Goddesses deck by Toni Carmine Salerno and it represents seeing the beauty within yourself.

Because it's there. All over your face and your body and your lovely heart. Beauty beauty beauty.

Imagine we lived in a world where we saw people just like ourselves in magazines, movies, and on television in a positive light. What if we grew up hearing that we were beautiful and people that looked like us were beautiful too?

Would you still feel not-pretty-enough?

The thing that robs us of our beauty is not those extra 5lbs, 50lbs, 100lbs. It is not imperfect teeth. It is not your big thighs. It is not your renegade body hair. It's not your wrinkles and stretch marks.

It is the power of comparison.

Comparison robs us of our beauty. If we didn't have anything to compare ourselves to, think of how happy you could be. We've grown up seeing a certain kind of beauty, bombarded with sensationalized stories that make us feel less-than, that make us feel like we're never going to measure up to what is supposed to be sexy and beautiful.

We have to create our own standard of beauty. 

And stick to it, and share it. A standard of beauty that is about confidence, about believing you are fabulous even if you're different, of fostering unconditional love and acceptance for yourself.

It's about not giving a flying poo about what the media says.

This condition of comparison bleeds over to so many areas of your life and you've got to fight against it. Who cares if someone is more successful than you, or seems more put together, or has the perfect relationship? Don't let comparison take away what you've been given.

The grass is always greener where you water it.

Do you give in to comparison? What do you find beautiful in yourself?

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Be Free + Be Brave.

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The Recalibration of Self

Do you ever have the moments when something inside of you shifts  and you start to question some of the things you thought you knew about yourself?

Good, I'm not the only one.

When those moments happen I like to think of it as a recalibration of self. It's like when you have a mechanical or electronic device that isn't working right so you give it a big ol' wallop to jump start it and get it working again. The Universe does that sometimes too. It smacks you upside the head with a situation just to get you working the way you're supposed to, whether to re-affirm that you're on the right path or to show you that it's time to change or transform.

How you are right now is not how you're going to be forever.

Everything changes. You change, I change, that's just the way it is. We aren't obligated to change for someone else, only for ourselves.

Lately, I've been thinking about who I am at the core. I've been writing a lot because of my Journey Through Journaling ecourse and it's really helping me to figure out where I am and who I am and some of it didn't fit with who I thought I was. It's like I thought I was walking in a certain direction and then someone hands me a map and points out that I'm really over *there* when I thought I was over *here*.

Figuring out who you are is tricky business.

It's totally possible to do though. Let go of who other people want you to be or think that you should be. Don't let others tell you that what makes you happy isn't good enough or just because your life path is different than what's "normal" doesn't mean that it can't be fulfilling.

Use those opportunities that the Universe gives you to see exactly what you're made of and to discover exactly who you are. 

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Weekly Oracle: Don't Give Into The Gloom

I love spending time with my Oracle Cards and my many decks. My readings always allow me to see my situation from a different perspective. I love that.

This week's card is from Brian Froud's The Faeries' Oracle and is the Gloominous Doom.

Dun dun duuuuuuun.

This card represents self-defeat, self-pity, self-destruction and moving past all of that to discover the ability to take care of ourselves.

Self-pity is the first step on a slippery and seductive slide down the Path of the Suck. We all experience it and we all go down it. It starts off with that one event, or that one thought, and all we can think is:

Why me?

That's natural when something bad or unpleasant happens isn't it? It starts getting tricky when you begin to believe that the world is against you, that nothing is ever going to go right, that the Universe just absolutely hates you and you must be the absolute suckiest sucky person on the planet because nothing goes right for you EVER.

It's easy to slide into those thoughts. It's easier to accept that there's a mysterious somethingsomething that makes life miserable instead of seeing the real reasons. Maybe you have a habit of making bad choices or surrounding yourself with people you shouldn't, or your attitude needs a little bit of an adjustment or you feel like people pay attention to you when you're sad. Or the worst reason of all: sometimes bad things happen to good people and it just wasn't your fault.

Accountability defeats self-pity.

You can choose to pity yourself and to rail against the Universe for all its unfairness or you can be accountable for what you can do about it. You get to pick yourself up and learn from it. You get to make better choices next time. You get to show the Universe that when it knocks you down, you are gonna get up again.

The sorrier you feel for yourself, the worse your life becomes.

It's not about denying those feelings, pushing them away, or ignoring them. It's about being willing to explore just how awful things feel, how hard things are, and figuring out what has made you feel that way in the first place. You shouldn't let feelings go without working through them, they need to be fully acknowledged and understood first.

That is the lesson of Gloominous Doom. Feeling like the whole world is against you, or that nothing is ever going to go right, we need to feel those things so that we can appreciate the opposite. It makes the good times so much sweeter, it deepens our gratitude and appreciation for the good things.

Do you get stuck in self-pity or are you good at fighting your way out of it?

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The Self Love Decree!

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